Ask a Bartender: Why Didn’t You Cut Me Off Last Night?

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Pam Martin, GoLocalWorcester Ask A Bartender Columnist

No two drunken nights are the same, and for some, that’s a blessing. You can try to duplicate it, sure, but where is the fun in that? So you went out with your co-workers on Thursday night and had three of four pitchers of beer, and maybe a round of Fireball shots and had a good time. Everyone managed to show up to work on Friday with a subtle hangover, and you all make it to 5 o’clock. Now you’re back at it and you decide that tonight after your company softball game, you’re going to stick with what works and order the same thing. Then at 10 o’clock when I slide you a glass of water you are insulted. Furious even. And here it comes, “I drank the same amount last night and you didn’t cut me off!”

Let’s clear one thing up once and for all: There isn’t a grand scheme among bartenders to liquor you up one night, therefore luring you back in to spend more money the next night, and cut you off when we’ve made enough money off of you. Quite the contrary. As bartenders we thrive off of regulars. We would much rather keep you happy—and safe—so that you keep coming back every week, and to every bar we ever work at.

So, to keep you happy and safe we have to keep an eye on you. The second time you came back from the bathroom, did you stumble a little bit and bump into the lovely patron behind you having drinks with their spouse? Maybe you didn’t notice. Or, did you get so excited about your clever joke that, in a fit of laughter, you forgot your own strength and smacked the table so hard that everyone else in the room turned and stared? You probably didn’t notice. That’s okay, your bartender did. We don’t want the person you keep accidently stumbling into to get confrontational with you. We don’t want you to keep smacking the bar to the point that you unintentionally start getting aggressive, or call the attention of a bouncer. And, in one more pitcher of beer or round of shots, we really don’t want people taking pictures of you passed out on the bar.

When your bartender cuts you off, it really is for your own good. Funny thing about liquor, you lose many of your inhibitions. It’s that liquid courage that makes you oblivious to some of your own actions, and makes us, the sober bartender, even more aware of how carried away you are getting. While you may think that drinking the same amount today as you did last night won’t have any different effects, you’re wrong. Are you sure all of the alcohol is out of your system from the night before? Did you skip meals today to compensate for that pizza you ordered on your way home last night? Were you the MVP of that softball game, running victory laps after the game? Did you drink before the game? Of those pitchers of beer, did you lap everyone else? There are a lot of factors that contribute to how you react to drinking from night to night.

Don’t be insulted when your bartender cuts you off. Take it in stride. Quietly accept the glass of water you’ve just been served. Take a breather. Pace yourself. Get home safely and call it a night. Fighting with us is only going to make it worse, I promise.

Pam Martin bartends at Compass Tavern at 90 Harding Street in Worcester every Friday night and Sunday afternoon.