Fit for Life: We Have Choices, Even When Tragedy Strikes

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Matt Espeut, GoLocalWorcester Health +Lifestyle Contributor

December 11, 2009 tragedy struck my family, and I lost my kid sister in a car accident that her and two high school friends were involved in.

Her best friend was in the passenger seat and ironically the driver was the only one that lived.

I posted a couple pictures on social media in her memory this week and I received an unbelievable amount of feedback from a lot of people.

It was both humbling and appreciated to receive all that support and kind words and I am grateful for everyone that commented. However, I didn’t post it to receive sympathy or to have folks feel bad for me, I did it to preserve the fond memories we had together.

A lot of people face tragedy; however, we need to live our lives through the pain and anguish.

I write this to show that humans are resilient and that we have choices to either get stronger and live, or we can barricade ourselves into darkness, live an abusive lifestyle and feel sorry for ourselves for the rest of our lives.

I want to share some different ways that I deal with tragedy and hopefully help others shine a light on some dark moments.

My memories of her are what makes me smile when I think of her.

Here are a few I can recall like it was yesterday.

When I was in my twenties I used to work out in the basement. I wore work boots and she used to come down, see me and run upstairs and put her boots on. “Now I’m just like you big brother” she used to say. Then we would pose down like Hans and Frans and she would crack me up.

When I picked her up at school, she used to always tell her friends look how big my brother is. I was over 20 years older, so imagine me picking up a 4-year-old at daycare. Her classmates thought I was a giant. “See, I told you he was big” she used to say as she jumped into my arms.

As a teen, I would take her Christmas shopping for clothes every year and being the big brother of a teenage girl, much of what she picked out was not approved by me.

As she became an older teenager, we had some differences that put a strain on our relationship however I am not dwelling on the negative but cherishing the positive memories.

This article parallels a book I recently read called The Last Lecture.

It was about a guy that got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in his early forties. He had a great career, three kids, and a loving wife.

He wanted to live his final years in happiness, so he decided to chronicle his sickness and talk about it so others that encountered a similar situation won’t suffer as much.

(Hence the name “The Last Lecture”)

I wanted to write this to encourage you to bring fond memories to light when faced with loss.

With great memories, and time it makes sad situations more tolerable

We cannot change the cards we were dealt we can only decide how to play the hand.

When the smoke clears, the pain will always be there smoldering, however it’s our choice how we carry on with our lives.

As I said earlier, we can resort to feeling sorry for ourselves, dwell on the negative, live abusive lifestyles, or we can find the strength to move forward and not self-sabotage.

Life is short, so live it to its fullest and let fond memories carry you through dark situations.

Committed to your success.

Matt Espeut, GoLocal's Health & Lifestyle Contributor has been a personal trainer and health & fitnesss consultant for over 25 years. He is the owner of Fitness Profiles, a one on one, and small group personal training company, as well as Providence Fit Body Boot Camp, located at 1284 North Main St., on the Providence/Pawtucket line. You can reach Matt at (401) 453-3200; on Facebook at "Matt Espeut", and on Twitter at @MattEspeut. "We’re all in this life together – let’s make it a healthy one.

Related Slideshow: The 7 Best Health and Fitness Apps

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MapMyRun

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Made for iPhone, Android and Blackberry

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MyFitnessPal

MyFitnessPal seems to be the clear favorite amongst everyone polled. It is helpful not only for the fitness tracking aspect, but everyone polled mentioned how much they loved the food/diet aspect as well. From carb counting for diabetics to recipe ideas to complement your fitness goals, users love this app.

Made for iPhone and Android

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JeFit

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Made for iPhone and Android

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Strava

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Made for iPhone and Android

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YogaStudio

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Made for iPhone only

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SimplyBeing

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Made for iPhone and Android

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Fooducate

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Made for iPhone and Android