Freshman Blues: What’s a Parent to Do?

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Monday, October 04, 2010

COLLEGE ADMISSIONS by Cristiana Quinn, GoLocalProv College Admissions Expert

Fall is here, and with its arrival college campuses are all abuzz with parents’ weekends. Some freshmen will be gushing with excitement over their new friends, exhilarating courses or latest extra-curricular interests. Other students will beg their parents to take them home, sob heart-brokenly about a horrible roommate, or lament the difficulty of the workload. By Thanksgiving, I will have more than 20 phone calls from panicked parents who are convinced that their child needs to transfer. By December break, the number will have dwindled to about 3. So, how as a parent do you know when the situation is a normal college adjustment period, and how do you know when to start considering a transfer? Here are a few tips to help you along the way*:

1. Relationship Issues

If a student has an untenable roommate situation, this is completely fixable. And often, once the roommate situation is resolved, the student can embrace the other positive aspects of the college. Counsel your child to speak with their Resident Assistant (RA) and ask about a room transfer and what the process entails. If your child feels on the other hand that they do not fit in with the student population as a whole, encourage him/her to join some clubs on campus where they may meet a wider variety of students. The school newspaper, Drama Troupe, Outing Club and fraternities/sororities all terrific opportunities to meet people who aren’t in their dorm and may be more their “type” of person. Give your child time to adjust, remind them of why they picked the college and all the wonderful attributes that exist on campus. Social adjustments are rarely made in a few weeks and can often take a full year.

2. Academic Struggles

Many students arrive on campus each year unprepared to handle the academic rigors of college. Add to that new found social freedom, and you often have a recipe for disaster. Nationally, about 38% of freshmen do not return to the same college for sophomore year- many because they are failing. Make sure that you ask your child how their grades are, and if there are any courses that they find particularly difficult. Just about every college campus has an Academic

Support Center with subject tutors, writing assistance and study skills courses. Additionally, professors often sit idly behind their desks during office hours while students ignore the most obvious source of help. Many undergrads simply fail to leverage the resources available to them. Other students will find freshman year not challenging enough. This is usually because they are taking pre-requisite courses, and as they move up the ladder to 200 and 300 level courses, classes will become more challenging. If not, they may need to transfer.

3. Location Woes

For the student who THOUGHT they might be happy in the big city or the wilds of Maine, only to realize that the environment doesn’t suit them, the challenge is tougher. Time will tell if they can adjust to the sometimes impersonal city school or the mall-starved woodsy campus. Homesickness can also be an issue as students miss friends and family. Suggest that they attend more on-campus concerts, lectures and social gatherings. Encourage them to take advantage of weekend excursions offered by the school. Most colleges outside a city offer transportation to the city, and remote campuses offer ski buses or other outing opportunities. If the situation doesn’t resolve itself by January, it may not be a long term fit.
 
For many students, freshman year is a time of tremendous change and growth. With this can come a roller coaster of emotions. Parents need to be prepared for stormy seas and to sometimes steady the ship to keep it on course. If things don’t calm down by early in the second semester, then it’s time to consider alternatives. Most transfer deadlines fall in March or April, with a few being earlier or later. This gives students a few more months to consider if they really want to switch schools. But remember that transferring is not a magic bullet. It’s not always easy to assimilate socially as a sophomore or junior, and many colleges don’t provide housing for transfers. So, make sure that your child has given their college a TRULY fair chance before you jump ship.

*This article is not meant to diminish the significant risk of depression among college students or provide advice. For parents who feel that their child may be clinically depressed, please visit this site.

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