Modern Manners + Etiquette: Multitasking

Monday, April 25, 2011

Didi Lorillard, GoLocalProv Manners and Etiquette Expert

Is it bad manners to be continually checking for messages and texting when in the company of others? For the Y generation being rude might be the least of the problems that come with multitasking. As the fastest growing segment of the workforce, not only are they listening to their iPod while producing a document due tomorrow at the same time, they're making a date and texting for reservations on their smartphone seated at their desk in an office full of coworkers. Meanwhile, your boss is standing in back of you trying to get your attention—and she's assuming you're ignoring her.

Teachers and professors complain that over half of the millenial students in their classes are losing focus because they are elsewhere—either on their laptop doing an assignment for another class or texting on their smartphone; nobody appears to be taking notes; and, they say, the worst of the bunch are chuckling over YouTubes in the back of the classroom.

Counterintuitively, multitaskers are horrible at every facet of multitasking.

How, may I ask, do we convince the habitually multitasking Rude Generation that they are gambling with their mental health because their cognitive function is being egregiously compromised? Despite the fact that studies show there are long lasting negative effects of multitasking—with absolutely no evidence to the contrary—the addiction is near impossible to kick.

The bottom line is, virtually all multitaskers think they are brilliant at “high multitasking,” says Stanford psychologist Clifford Nass, in an interview on PBS's Frontline after documenting that multitaskers are not only lousy at multitasking, but they were also worse than nonmultitaskers on every individual task in the study. “We were absolutely shocked... It turns out mutitaskers are terrible at every aspect of 'high mutitasking.' They're terrible at ignoring irrelevant information; they're terrible at keeping information in their head nicely and neatly organized; and they're terrible at switching from one task to another.”

"Not me! I can handle it!"

Students told about the study insisted they could manage all the media while multitasking were quoted as saying, “Oh, yeah, yeah But not me! I can handle it. I can manage all these,” which of course is quite scary because it is a normal human impulse to think they can do it all. Isn't that what parents teach their children, “You can do it all.” As it turns out, when parents drill into their kids they can do it all, they neglect to teach them the importance of being able to turn off the switch.

The problem as to whether multitasking is rude or not, psychologists think, is that there is a switch in the brain that people who multitask all the time apparently aren't able to turn off, and we don't know what to do about it? Those who are unable to turn off that switch long enough to sense that the boss is standing behind them trying to get their attention, are in a sense not sensing when they're not paying attention to their job. They're missing the final step because they can't interactive with anything human in a sensitive manner.

As proof, some psychologists say about 80% of communication is nonverbal and that face-to-face conversations are crucial to forming and sustaining strong relationships. Body language, facial expressions, tears, giggles, smiles, raised eyebrows, grimaces, smirks, laughter, winks; these are all crucial cues to the innumerable ways in which we express our feelings. But let's face it, mostly we'd rather not see a frowning scowl of disappointment, a furrowed brow above rolling eyes of disapproval.

Is it bad manners to be constantly checking for new messages while you're with someone else? That is definitely a volatile matter of personal opinion.

Didi Lorillard researches manners and etiquette on her Web site NewportManners.com. Or you can also follow Didi on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn, after reading her previous GoLocalProv columns linked here below.