Modern Manners + Etiquette: Office Restroom Etiquette + More
Monday, March 12, 2012
Dear Didi,
My job requires frequent long distance air travel. In one week I'll fly from Providence or Boston to the West Coast, Texas and Washington, DC and back. Recently I learned that soon the airlines will start allowing passengers to choose their seat partners by showing them other passengers' Facebook pages. I'm not comfortable with this. When I'm not sleeping I need to focus on preparing for my meeting. My first reaction was to discontinue my Facebook page so I won't get targeted. Any ideas? E.W.G., Little Compton
Dear E.W.G.,
If you have a first name nickname, change the name on your present Facebook page to your nickname and keep the last name. Then start a new page with the name on your driver's license or passport -- that would be the name you use for booking your flights. As an example, I use the first name I was born with and my married last name when I fly, but my nickname and maiden last name are on my Facebook page. With this new page you can describe yourself as an antisocial person by saying, for instance, that you measure the divider space between the seats to determine, and then announce, the boundary; you can't stand to make small talk with strangers; you listen to hard rock on your iPod while drumming the beat with your pen; you're hugely allergic to smells such as perfumes, deodorants, moth balls, anything that's just been dry cleaned; lastly, you suffer from irritable bowel syndrome. By making yourself sound like the seat partner from hell, you will find yourself next to an empty seat. ~Didi
Dear Didi,
We're hoping you can help us with a memo we're trying to put together to establish restroom etiquette in our office. We need to rein in a couple of sloppy coworkers. Please, help us. Anonymous, Fall River, MA
Dear Anonymous,
Here is a sample of a restroom etiquette memo. Using the word bathroom makes the restroom sound more user friendly, even if it's not the correct word. Use whichever word works for your workplace, bathroom or restroom, or use both as I've done here. ~Didi
Memo: Office Bathroom Etiquette
To: EVERYONE
Subject: Office Restroom Etiquette
It’s an important issue that must be addressed: etiquette in the company restrooms.
Time
Be efficient when using the office bathroom because there might be someone else waiting to use it. Don't use the restroom to check your smartphone for texts, e-mails, Facebook page, or matchmaking site.
Cleaning Up
Treat the office restroom with even more care than your own home bathroom. In an office restroom, it is considered considerate to flush after each use. Tidy up after yourself. Leave the restroom in as good as or in better condition than it was before you used it. Always wash your hands with soap and hot water after using the facility. Assume the one time you don't wash up will be noticed.
Socializing
Never socialize in the office restroom. Talk only when spoken to. Talking to a person who is using the facility will probably make them very uneasy, especially if they are strangers. The restroom is not the place for chitchat. Use words carefully in an office washroom because your professional reputation may be linked to your washroom etiquette. Just assume that everyone in the office will hear about your nasty bathroom code of conduct. Don't leave urine or toilet paper in the toilet, on the seat, or on the floor because you never know who's waiting to use it next. If you've splattered water on the area around the sink, use paper towel to soak it up. Don't brush or comb hair over the sink, stand back. Don't talk shop in the the restroom. When a coworker wants to talk business just say, "Let's take this conversation out into the hallway."
Urinals
While using a urinal, keep your eyes straight ahead and and never look around because a glimpse in the wrong direction may be embarrassing and might cause a confrontation. Remember to keep as much distance as possible between yourself and others while using the office restrooms. Always choose the urinal or stall that's farthest away from another person.
Odor
Keep the air freshener at hand when using a public bathroom not only for any odors you might make, but also for those left behind by others. Leaving a pleasant smell in the restroom can help avoid embarrassment and it will foster a better restroom environment for coworkers.
Noises
Embarrassing bathroom noises are unavoidable. Running the faucet, fan or automated hand dryer can help muffle telltale sounds.
Dear Didi,
We just moved into a condo and we're trying to figure out how to meet our neighbors. I've now twice introduced myself to people who, as it turned out, were just visiting someone in the building. How do we go about introducing ourselves? G.H., Providence
Dear G.H.,
Most condos have an association (co-ops have boards) that you can become involved with when you want to register your concerns for the public rooms and grounds as well as maintenance issues. Some buildings have holiday parties or/and days in the spring where residents volunteer their gardening skills. You could also host an "open house to meet our neighbors." In old movies, the new neighbor would ring the doorbell to ask to borrow a cup of sugar, but nowadays, most of us who bake buy prepared products that just need to be baked. Persevere, keep introducing yourself, and you will eventually meet your neighbors. ~Didi
Dear Didi,
A woman who works for me is always making suggestions about how things should be and alternative ways I should be doing this or that. It is really annoying. It's reached the point where I've started saying, "No, that's not a good idea." I know that's not nice. She is a good worker at what she does and she means well, but I'm tired of always having to tell her why I'm saying no. Is there a polite way to get her to shut up? Devon, Kingston
Dear Devon,
Next time this woman offers her advice, just say, "I'll take it under consideration." Or, "I'll consider it." By telling her gently that you'll think about it, you are showing your respect for her while shielding yourself from having to discuss the subject again. ~Didi
Didi Lorillard answers questions about modern everyday manners and etiquette at NewportManners.com or you can find her on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, after you've read previous GoLocal columns listed below.
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