Mum’s the Word: To Spank or Not to Spank

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Friday, April 24, 2015

Briauna Skye McKizzie, GoLocalProv Contributor

The angelic eighteen-month old had vanished, and in her place stood a miniature villain. Photo Credit: Briauna Skye McKizzie

Unsure about disciplining, I used to be one of those parents who’d say, “Why would I hit my child when hitting people is wrong?”

Then, my daughter turned two.

The angelic eighteen-month old had vanished, and in her place stood a miniature villain. I’d look down at a book for one second only to look up and see my tottering child sucking on a knife she had found or putting together a Molotov cocktail.

Possessing the logic skills of a psychopath, I couldn’t just explain to my toddler things like why touching a stove isn’t the greatest idea. I also couldn’t say, “Don’t sit on the bunny - that will kill it.” I couldn’t reason with her because no matter what I said, she’d do the exact opposite.

Spanking was rapidly becoming more appealing.

Unfortunately, I happen to have stopped growing at the age of twelve. So being that I have the muscle mass and strength of a Cabbage Patch doll, spanking her doesn’t really do very much except inspire her to yell, “Naughty, Mama!” and go about her nefarious business.

So for these last couple years, I have explored and experimented with other forms of discipline that don’t require any strong reasoning skills on her end or physical contact on mine.

1. An all expense paid vacation for their favorite toy.

In war, the best way to phase your enemy is to attack their “heart.” While some of you might be loath to call your child an enemy, you can still take the same approach when disciplining the little ones. If your son or daughter won’t listen, then it might be time for CeCe the bear to take a two-hour trip to Tokyo until your daughter or son starts behaving.

2. The Cinderella Experience.

Whenever my daughter acts like an entitled princess who is above authority, that’s the time I decide to treat her like the original princess, Cinderella, B.C (Before Castle). It’s chore time, and even though her childish cleaning tactics are less than hygienic, she hates cleaning. She will do almost anything to get out of doing chores…including behaving.

3. The ‘This is Sparta’ Approach.

If all else fails, then you may need to put on your Gerard Butler face and start taking away privileges. Spartan soldiers didn’t have the luxury of copious buckets of Legos, fruit snacks, or Saturday morning cartoons and neither should your rebellious child.