Newport Manners & Etiquette: Holiday Survival Tips, Lecherous Teacher & Midnight Toker
Thursday, November 30, 2017
Great Tips for Surviving Holiday Houseguests
Q. I'm already feeling overwhelmed about houseguests coming for Christmas (family) and New Year's (friends)! Everybody wants to stay in our new house, but I feel like taking off and letting them take care of themselves. My husband did the inviting and I'm now stuck planning meals and worried that I don't have enough towels and what to do with the guests during the day! Help! AG, Winthrop, MA
A. Take it in stride when hosting out-of-town guests with whom you may or may not actually want to share space. Most importantly don't get tired. Tired can make you feel overwhelmed and irritated. Keeping the vibes good and even-keeled is the key to being a successful host.
- Ahead of time, suggest that they bring ice skates, snow shoes, swimming trunks, bikes and helmets, etc.
- Ask about any food or pet allergies before they arrive.
- Short on linens? Before they arrive, ask them to bring towels, pillows and comforters. Rent cots or purchase blow-up beds.
- Make sure you have fresh linens, soap and lots of toilet paper.
- Be home to greet your guests and show them to their room.
- Ask them if they need anything such as bottled water, more coat hangers, etc.
- If there are tricks to turning on the shower or lights, clue them in.
- Have on hand a local paper with a map of the area to encourage your guests to go out on their own and explore.
Yes, they are your guests -- but don't be shy about asking them to make themselves useful:
- To pickup bread, beer, paper towels, ice, wine or milk when they go out.
- Delegate certain chores around the house like laying the fireplace, setting the table, reading to your six-year-old, taking the dog for a walk or putting out the garbage.
- Bring out favorite board games, puzzles and cards.
Believe it or not, most guests like to feel helpful. So don't hesitate to ask them to help you with the dishes. Say, "I'll wash, you dry," as you toss the dish towel their way. Or you rinse and they load the dishwasher.
Best yet, if they invite you out breakfast, lunch or dinner, go for it.
My Teacher Favors Me Unpleasantly
Q. My physics teacher treats me differently than the other girls. There are only three of us girls in the class. He embarrasses me when he favors me. Sometimes he puts his hand on my back, shoulder or arm and it totally makes me feel really uncomfortable. It freaks me out. The other two girls giggle and tease me about him and that really annoys me. It's an advanced class and I cannot drop out half way through the year. What should I do? I have nobody to talk to. Name Withheld
A. Dearie, you should be able to talk to a parent or other adult about your wretched situation. The good news is that you're half way though the year.
I want you to be very brave.
Ask to speak to that teacher after class. It would be nice to have a buddy who could hang out at the door and listen to you, but if that's not going to happen, be extra brave.
- Tell him that it makes you very uncomfortable when he favors you.
- Ask him to please stop touching you.
- Try to look him in the eye as you say, "Please don't annoy me in class because it is very awkward for me.
- You're the teacher, I'm the student. You're not supposed to be showing favoritism toward me in any way."
- Then walk out.
- This is not up for discussion.
Try talking to an older sibling or cousin, if no adult has time to talk to you. Then the two of you should find an adult who will listen. We adults are not good listeners, but some of us try harder than others to make time to listen attentively.
Q. So what we do we do? I've been on good terms with our neighbors for ten years. Now they have five cats up from one. I recently built a playground for my kids in our backyard. The neighbors' cats now use our wonderful sandbox as their personal litter box.
I tried talking to the neighbor, but he brushed me off saying that his father used to rid his sandbox of their neighbor's kitty poop with a shovel. He said, "What's the big deal?" GD, Newport Beach, CA
A. I do hate answering pet questions that bring on a barrage of comments, but perhaps other pet lovers have dealt with your problem successfully. Feel free to comment, pet lovers!
There are organic safe-products to deter cat paws from mucking up your sandbox. Look for them in your area and online.
Alternatively, it may be less expensive in the end to create some kind of wire netting to place over the sandbox when your children aren't playing outside.
Q. What to do about our new neighbors who smoke? By the way, they're night birds that smoke out on our adjacent balconies every night! We can't open our windows without smelling tobacco smoke. TY, West Palm Beach, FL
A. Invite the new neighbors over for coffee or a drink. Over the course, of twenty minutes let them know how you feel about smoking. If they fully understand how disappointed you are at having neighbors' tobacco smoke drifting into your bedroom, they may start smoking inside with the air conditioners blasting. Tell them that:
- On average, smoking kills 1,200 smokers every day.
- Every year, more people die from smoking than murder, AIDS, suicide, drugs, car accidents, and alcohol combined.
- Smoking causes heart disease, emphysema, acute myeloid leukemia, and cancer of the mouth, esophagus, larynx, lung, stomach, kidney, bladder, and pancreas.
- Smoking also causes reduced fertility, low birthweight in newborns, and cancer of the cervix.
Didi Lorillard researches manners and etiquette for her forthcoming book at NewportManners.
Related Slideshow: 50 Ways to Give in Central MA This Holiday Season - 2017
484 Main St., Worcester
United Way of Central Massachusetts helps many local organizations gain funding to help community efforts.
Each year they post a wish list for their organizations that easily allows you to choose where to donate or volunteer this holiday season.
Photo: United Way of Central Massachusetts
125 Providence Street, Worcester
For 100 years, the Girls Inc. of Worcester has aimed to dedicate themselves to empowering young women, ranging from ages 5 to 18 to achieve their goals and dreams. The organization supports these women to become healthy, educated, and independent figures.
Points of emphasis that are translated from Girls Inc. of Worcester faculty to its clients include, appropriate ways to confront challenges, resisting peer pressure, and viewing college as a tangible facet in their lives
120 Thomas Street, Worcester
Founded in 1891, VNA Care Network has helped people of all ages cope with illness or injury while living at home. Our exceptional visiting nurses; physical, occupational, and speech therapists; social workers; and other professionals have helped us earn accreditation by The Joint Commission.
335 Chandler Street, Worcester
Since 1878, the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children is dedicated to leadership in protecting and promoting the rights and well-being of children and families.
300 Barber Avenue, Worcester
Holy Trinity is a non-profit facility serving individuals who require a broad range of social, nursing and rehabilitation services in an atmosphere of quality care and Christian love, without regard to a person's race, color, religion, creed, sex, age, national origin, disability or Veteran's status.
222 Harrington Way, Worcester
We all know it as the EcoTarium and for all the fun and education.
Founded in 1825, the Worcester Natural History Society is a great place to play outside, play on the imagination playground and learn about the natural history of Worcester.
4 Mann Street, Worcester
Founded in 1973, The Bridge now serves over 1,200 individuals in residential and community settings.
Supports compassionate, evidence-based human services for those with mental health challenges, developmental disabilities, acquired brain injury and complex family problems.
321 Main Street, Worcester
Mechanics Hall is the premier event venue and concert hall in Central Massachusetts. Renowned for its elegance and sound qualities, the Hall's cultural significance, its stunning décor and architectural detail have earned it a listing on the National Register of Historic Places
81 Gold Star Boulevard, Worcester
The mission of the Girl Scouts is to build girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place.
65 Tainter Street, Worcester
The mission of the Boys and Girls Club of Worcester is to help youth develop the qualities needed to become responsible citizens and community leaders, through caring professional staff who forge relationships with our youth members and influence their ability to succeed in life.
10 Brookline Place West, Brookline, MA
The Jimmy Fund is always looking for people to donate blood and platelets for those undergoing cancer treatments and trauma victims.
You can also become a dedicated volunteer for Jimmy Funds many councils and promote their mission by hosting fundraising events.
Photo: The Jimmy Fund
100 Front St., Worcester, MA
Reliant Medical Group is an organization focused on improving the health and well-being of everyone in Central Massachusetts.
Donate to volunteer or participate in a 5k to help support the many other non-profits that they are engaged in.
Photo: Reliant Medical Group
85 Green St, Worcester, MA
AIDS Project Worcester provides housing for those who are HIV positive and in need of financial assistance.
They also provide educational services to teach the community about AIDS and STD prevention.
Volunteer to help with their educational outreach or donate to support their cause.
1152 Pleasant Street, Worcester
Donate your car or volunteer to help support families affected by childhood cancer at Why Me and Sherry's House.
You can even help provide a family with meals or emergency childcare during their hardship.
Photo: Why Me and Sherry's House
14 East Worcester St., Worcester, MA
Ascentria Care Alliance is one of the largest community service organizations in the area and allows you to reach out in many different ways.
Volunteer as a tutor or skills trainer to help members of your community reach their full potential.
Photo: Ascentria Care Alliance
629 Salisbury Street, Worcester
The Jewish HealthCare Center is one of New England’s most respected HealthCare facilities, providing innovative long-term care, short-term rehabilitation, hospice services, home care services, and Alzheimer’s care to the community since 1916.
10 Prince Place, Newburyport, MA
Fraxa Research Foundation is on a mission to help to find a cure for Fragile X - a disease that affects intellectual abilities, and makes sufferes hyperactive, hypersentitive to light and noise and prone to seizures.
You can donate or tribute a gift in honor of someone suffering from Fragile X.
Photo: Fraxa Research Foundation
2000 Century Dr., Worcester, MA
American Red Cross of Central Massachusetts is always looking for volunteers to donate blood, organize fundraisers, and donate non-monetary items like credit card rewards and goods.
The Red Cross prevents and relieves suffering to those in the community including military families in need.
One Clarks Hill, Framingham, MA
Advocates Inc. assists the disabled and elderly with home ownership and sustaining satisfying work and personal relationships.
Intern, or donate online when you do your personal shopping on Amazon, overtime you shop Advocates receives a percentage of your total purchase - making it easy to give and receive.
Photo: Advocates, Inc.
One Salem Square, Worcester
YWCA is dedicated to eliminating racism, empowering women and promoting peace, justice, freedom and dignity for all.
766 Main St, Worcester
It is where the community comes together. The Y offers programs for youth development, to promote healthy living and to promote social reposibility.
Four locations throughout the region
Boroughs Family Branch
Central Community Branch
Greendale Family Branch
Montachusett Community Branch
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Doggy Bag Etiquette, Fender Benders, Hospitality Etiquette + More
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Mens Short-Shorts, Unrequited Love & Wedding Invitation Etiquette
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Party Etiquette, Friendship Dilemmas, Resort Wear + Anorexia
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Picnic Tips, Handling Guests, + Women’s Short Shorts
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Utterly Casual Yacht Wedding, Whatever Gender Restrooms, No-Show Guest
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Newport Flower Show + The Art of Listening + Grandchildren
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Polo Tailgating + What to Say About Dyed Hair + Curb Your Dog
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: May to December Romance, Travel Tipping Guide & 5 Best Proposal Spots
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Handling Eye Rolling, Body-Shaming & Graduate Guidelines
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Fun Memorial Day Weekend Dates + Sailing Into Summer In Seersucker
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Etiquette of the Trump Family Crests, Guns + Children
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Houseguest Dog + Gifts, Full Bar + Neglectful Dad
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Back-to-School Etiquette, Polite Boys + Protecting Physical Space
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Happy Doable Prenups, How to Toast & How to Dunk + Opioid Crisis
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Huge Decline In Presidential Standards, Apologies + Phone Safe Box
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Broken Halloween Promise, How to Complain & Forgetting Names
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Saying NO, Vaping Etiquette & Terrible Teens
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Double-Dipping Etiquette, Annoying Lovers & How To Be The Best Guest
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Wine Glass Etiquette, Rudeness, & 8 Faux Pas
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: College Etiquette Tips, Secret Crushes + More
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Modern Day Etiquette for Old Fashion Manners + Friendship Etiquette
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Empower Better Student Social Skills With Super Good Manners,+ More
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: The Miraculous Magic of Toddler Etiquette, Decoding Xs, + More
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: How To Ask For A Raise & Money Owed & Therapy Ethics
- Newport Manners & Etiquette: Holiday Wedding Engagement, Hosting Essentials, & More