Newport Manners + Etiquette: Is Her Husband Cheating?

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Didi Lorillard, GoLocalWorcester Manners + Etiquette Expert

Is she being cautious or paranoid?

Is my husband cheating on me? What do I do when given the bird? Post Wedding Party Etiquette dress code and what to wear to a morning wedding? All questions to Didi Lorillard at NewportManners this week.

Signs of betrayal

Dear Didi,

My husband takes off his wedding ring before going for a jog, do you think I need to worry? Worried, Providence

Dear Worrier,

Ask him point blank, "What's with not wearing your wedding band when you go running? Do I need to be concerned that you might be looking for love in all the wrong places?" Carefully watch his reaction. His body language should tell you what you need to know. On the other hand, he may say his ring finger swells when he runs; if so, cut down on the salt. ~Didi

Handling rude gestures

Dear Didi,

I'm out for a summer Sunday drive to the beach with the top down and my beautiful bride at my side, I pull up to an intersection and the guy in the next car has his window down and gives me the rude finger. I'm turning into the beach parking lot and another guy gives me the bird through his open window. Just because it's summer, does that give license to using rude gestures? P.D., Narragansett

Dear P.D.,

Ancient Greeks used the obscene middle finger gesture to flip someone off as a sign of disapproval, so don't take it personally. it probably just means they coveted your convertible and your lovely company. Try not to gloat. ~Didi

Bridal dress code for post wedding party

Dear Didi

My daughter is having a destination wedding and then a post wedding party one month later. Is it appropriate for her to wear her wedding gown to the post wedding party? S.G., Newton, MA

Dear S.G.,

If the dress is ankle length or has a train, then your daughter might feel and look silly wearing her bridal gown again. Traditionally, a bride wears a wedding dress only once. On the other hand, if the dress is knee-length and looks like a cocktail dress, then it would fit in and be appropriate. Also, if your daughter is wearing a full bridal gown, her groom will have to wear his tuxedo and they might feel very overdressed at your post wedding party. However, your daughter could wear a little white cocktail dress and there could be a photograph of the bride and groom in their wedding attire on display at the party.

Personally, I think post wedding parties are great, but since they've been married a month, the newly weds may feel getting dressed up for what might appear to be a rerun. Lastly, you wouldn't want to put undue pressure on your guests by making them feel they've been invited to the wedding rerun and have to buy a wedding present. For a post wedding party, guests shouldn't feel pressured to buy a wedding present, since they didn't witness the ceremony. A heartfelt thank-you note to the parents is all that's required for the post-wedding party. ~Didi

Morning Wedding dress code

Dear Didi,

I am going to a wedding in Baton Rouge, LA. It is at 11:00 a.m. July 13. I am 42-years-old and the bride is the daughter of a big political figure. There is a lunch afterwards. I am very small, 5' 2" and 98 pounds. I have a hard time finding clothing and closed-in shoes that actually fit. Please advise. Name and address withheld

Dear Ms.,

To see what dresses are trending go to Rent the Runway and click on the following in this order:
Occasions
Weddings & More
Daytime

This will bring you to the 'Daytime Chic Weddings Boutique' where you'll see above-the-knee dresses with a bit of sleeve that are just right for a morning wedding. You want to wear a daytime dress that isn't as dressy as an after-five cocktail dress, with beautiful shoes. Carry a small clutch bag. I love a hat at a morning wedding and it will give you a bit more height, if you feel you still need it with your high heels. Here are some of the dresses that I think would be nice for a wedding luncheon as well as the shoes that look best with them.

Diana Von Furstenberg Limoncello Shift
Sachin + Babi Crimson Wave Dress
Vera Wang Blue Ripple Marks Sheath
Rachel Roy Good Karma Sheath
Lilly Pulitzer Touch of Sugar Dress
Ellie Tahari Sunset Daisy Sheath

You can probably find some of these dresses and similar shoes at your local department store. I just like to use renttherunway.com as a way of showing readers what is trending in terms of style and colors for a particular occasion. ~Didi

We like hearing from you at NewportManners.com and if we use your question, we can withhold your name and address. Didi researches etiquette and all matters of manners for her book, "Newport Etiquette." Or you can ask a question on Didi Lorillard's Facebook page or Twitter. Prior weekly GoLocalProv columns are listed below and can also be accessed through search.