Newport Manners & Etiquette: Making Up Made Easier Online + More
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
My wife and I find ourselves fighting more and more. Over the children, over money, over house chores, over things grave and small. We talk about counseling, but we both work and can't make the time or financial commitment. What does today's etiquette say about fighting? Are there guidelines for issues like arguing, trust and communicating? H.W., Providence
There is an app for that. No, seriously, if you're not in crisis mode and cannot get to a real-life therapist, apps such as Couple Counseling & Chatting, (and Romantimatic, Embre, and the older Fix a Fight and Love Maps) are out there to help. Counseling & Chatting could well bring a calming balance, an emotionally effective tool, into your life to help you and your partner communicate to ease conflict when it raises it's ugly head. The point is to acknowledge those everyday stressors and bad habits, all of which we seem to take out on our partner, and get back on board to working as a team. When you're not feeling good about your mate, you're probably not feeling good about yourself. Couple Counseling & Chatting even has the option of free texting for professional personal feedback.
It's still too soon to site studies on the use of relationship software apps, but a recent Pew Research Internet Project found that technology is being used more and more in relationships, and not just for online dating, but for online making up. The apps help to identify the reasons for conflict. The study of 1,428 adults in committed relationships found that the 25 percent who texted their partner when they were together had an easier time calming down anger and communicating their issues. Apparently, 21 percent of those who used the Internet and cellphone admitted to feeling closer to their partner through their digital exchanges. Furthermore, nine percent said they had resolved problems online and through texting that they weren't able to fix talking one on one. ~Didi
Corsages and boutonnieres
I'm attending a 1940s dance with a 58-year-old lady. Should I present a wrist corsage to her? I am 64-years-old. D.L., Brooklyn, NY
You've asked the wrong person. I'm not a fan of corsages. It would be chicer if you wore a red carnation in the lapel buttonhole of your jacket. Often called a boutonniere. A corsage is a sign of affection and the colors would have to go with her dress. The dress would most likely be a prom dress. The safest thing to do when giving a corsage is to include a pin and ribbon, so the woman has the option of wearing it on her wrist or dress. What's more, be sure to give her permission to leave the corsage in a small vase with water as a remembrance upon her return from the dance. ~Didi
MY daughter's mother-in-law signs her cards----Love, Mother!!!!!! I am my daughter's only mother and I feel that she is trying to be pushy!!! What should I do and what is proper here? A.H., Fairfax, VA
You're annoyed when your daughter's mother-in-law signs her emails Mother. Tell her how you feel. Just say, "My daughter has one mother, last I checked you're not actually her mother." It is all in the tone of how you say it. Have fun with this and let it be spontaneous, not critical.
My guess is that she comes from a family where all mothers were called 'mother.' There was a Mother Bee, Mother Alice, Mother Didi. Don't take this personally, but this coziness is culturally engrained in many women. All mothers are mothers, but not all daughters are ours. Gently, ask your daughter's MIL to call herself Mother Bee, or whatever second name she choses to use. ~Didi
My daughter is getting married this July on a boat at the Chelsea Piers in Manhattan. It's daytime noon till 4. What is the appropriate kind of dress I should be looking for. It's a crowd of about 100 people. A.S., Grosse Pointe, MI
This wedding sounds like great fun. The earlier in the day, the less dressy the attire. Even if the wedding party wear formal attire, you want "Suits & Dresses" for your guests. It's more about the quality of the clothing than the dressiness of the outfit. It will be hot and humid, so tuxedos would be ghastly to wear. I like white dinner jackets, if you're looking for a cooler alternative for the men. Otherwise, let the men wear "Jackets & Ties," that they can always take off.
As the mother-of-the-bride you want to be looking elegant and dignified, as well as cool and collected in a beautiful knee-length summer dress with a lovely hat.
I use the Halsbrook website to illustrate looks for women over forty, take a look at halsbrook.com under 'dresses' for:
Lyn Devon New Betty Stretch Cotton Sheath Dress
Elie Tahari Beverly Printed Silk Dress
Elie Tahari Bernadette Double-Knit Dress
Les Copains Periwinkle Stretch Cotton Dress
Maxmara Simone Cotton-Blend Dress
Armani Collezioni Turquoise Jersey Twist Dress
Maxmara Morris Floral Jacquard Dress
There are a couple of nautical-looking dresses but the MOB needs to be a bit dressier, which is why I love the Maxmara Morris Floral Jacquard Dress best. ~Didi
Do you have a question for Didi? Visit her at NewportManners.com. We can withhold your name and location. Didi researches etiquette and all matters of manners for her book,"Newport Etiquette." Previous weekly GoLocalWorcester.com columns may be found by typing in Didi Lorillard in the above righthand search.
Related Slideshow: Get Pampered
Bellismo European Day Spa is located inside a beautiful exposed brick building in a convenient area of the city. This place is 3,100 square feet of pure relaxation. Since 1985, Bellisimo European Day Spa has been building a loyal clientele—a testimony to how professional and relaxing their spa environment is. They offer nail and hair services, along with other innovative treatments. What’s hot now? Radio Telemetric Lifting (RTL) to reverse aging, and microdermabrasion.
372 Chandler Street, Worcester. (508) 799-7767.
Photo: The Merlin Phuket/Flickr
Mocine Salon and Spa
Whether you need a full pamper session or just some hair and makeup done before heading out on a Friday night, Mocine has got you covered. Every month, there are specials and discounts on treatments that are definitely worth checking out. Need a day out with the girls? The spa hosts great group parties! Make sure to try out the Moroccan Mud Wrap and the Wine Wrap—they are amazing.
258 Park Avenue, Worcester. (508) 756-5555.
Looking to try out a day spa for the first time? Head over to Essential Aesthetics Day Spa—each new client receives a complimentary service upon booking a second appointment. Essential Aesthetics is dedicated to removing all the stresses that are present in day to day life. Enjoy well-being treatments, anti-aging treatments, beautification treatments and more.
17 Converse Street, Worcester. (508) 831-0400.
Since 1987, Tu Moda has been making it their mission to help people look and feel the best that they can. With services that cater to men and women of all ages and skin types, there will definitely be a treatment that will cater to your needs. Tu Moda uses only top-notch products, and their services are high quality and professional.
574 Pleasant Street, Worcester. (508) 754-1513.
Photo: Dennis Wong/Flickr
If you’re looking for a one stop shop for beautifying yourself inside and out, St. Cyr Salon and Spa is for you. This spacious day spa offers a plethora of great products and services perfect for anyone. Choose from an array of spa packages, like the Day of Luxury or Men’s De-Stress Package. If you need a quick pick me up, try out great services like their new Alaskan Mud Facial al a carte.
235 Park Ave., Worcester. (508) 752-2222.
Photo: Dennis Wong/Flickr
Head to Paul Conzo Day Spa & Hair Salon this month to take advantage of specials on cranberry and pumpkin services! This great full service salon has plenty of treatments to choose from that are sure to be a hit with anyone. Try out a relaxing massage, a paraffin hand dip, a full body scrub, or go all in with a spa package. While you’re in, pick up a gift card for a no-brainer holiday gift!
490 Shrewsbury Street, Worcester. (508) 754-5418.
Photo: Tara Angkor Hotel/Flickr
Rituals Salon & Spa in Leominster is a local favorite. While they offer traditional spa treatments like manicures, pedicures, and hair styling, they have one thing that sets them apart from the rest: their mother-to-be services. If you or someone you know is expecting, treat them to a day full of relaxation. Treatments are all pregnancy friendly and include Tummy Masque Treatments, Mother-to-be Pedicures, Well Mother Massages, and more.
646 Central Street, Leominster. (978) 537-9394.
Photo: Mer Montagne Vacances/Flickr
If a clean, spacious environment is what you are looking for when finding your perfect salon and spa, Colours is your go-to. They specialize in skin and nail care, and offer complete spa packages that will make you feel amazing. With five types of massage, you will keep coming back for more.
638 Chandler Street, Worcester. (508) 792-7577.
In Latin, “Fulgere” means to shine. Fulgere Salon & Spa wants to help its customers do just that. Their services go beyond the aesthetic benefits of traditional salon treatments in order to de-stress and harmonize the entire person. Try out their deep tissue massage for a truly relaxing experience.
108 Grove Street, Worcester. (508) 831-9595.
Moji Salon & Day Spa wants to help you accentuate and pamper all that you have to offer through their innovative services. Their stylists and nail technicians are highly trained and educated in all the best cutting edge techniques in the industry. If you have had problems with salons in the past, they also offer corrective treatments!
1064 Pleasant Street, Worcester. (508) 791-8686.
Photo: Prefeitura de Sete Lagoas/Flickr
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