Newport Manners & Etiquette: Mens Short-Shorts, Unrequited Love & Wedding Invitation Etiquette
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Q. What about men's short-shorts? How to go short on a hot summer day without looking foolish wearing short-shorts? How do I accessorize: socks, no socks? Shoes, what kind? George, Brooklyn, NY
A. Short-shorts don't have to be a fashion faux pas. Try shirting with a loose silhouette on top of a great set of legs -- burly and tan. The trend is this: short-shorts hemlines are on the rise. Conventional shorts end at the knee. Experiment by elevating the hemline of traditional shorts steadily going shorter until you reach a length that feels comfortable on you -- mid-thigh should be about right. Unless, of course, you want to look like a marathon runner.
You wouldn't be comfortable for long wearing short-shorts that are painfully too tight.
Place your hands down by your sides and if the tips of your fingers can feel your shorts, the shorts are too long and are not iconic short-shorts.
Q. My boyfriend does not spend time with me because he says he is too busy and loves his work too much. What should I do? ED, Harare, Zimbabwe
A. It sounds as though your boyfriend isn't interested in you, so ask yourself: why would you want to spend time with someone who doesn't want to be with you? If I were in your situation, I would forget about him. He's not your boyfriend. Find someone who wants to share their life with you. Someone who moves heaven and earth to make time to be with you.
Don't waste your emotions and energy on a person who is clearly not as interested in you as you are in him.
If you're desperately in love with him, have a talk to find out if there is something special he would like to do, if he did have some time off. Then make a plan and help him keep it. Be flexible once or even twice if he says he needs to postpone. But the third time he backs out of the date, break off with him. Move on.
If you don't value yourself, then he won't value you either. Take a stand, but be flexible -- to a point.
Tragic or farcical marriage
Q. The daughter of a childhood friend who is also a work colleague, with whom I frequently play golf, is marrying a man who is gay. My knowledge comes from a highly reputable source. A big wedding will take place in a Catholic church, with a dinner dance reception at their estate for 300 guests; an expensive dance band will play all night. Everybody is happy, but me. I've known the family my whole life. What is my responsibility? Do I tell my childhood friend the next time we're teeing off that his future son-in-law is gay? Or do I hypocritically attend the wedding with my wife, who also knows the groom is gay? Name Withheld, East Hampton, NY
A. You might be heroic telling the bride-to-be, not her father, that you've heard from a reliable source that her fiancé is gay. But the better part of wisdom is simply to keep quiet.
What happens if the bride doesn't believe you? It's probably a risk you shouldn't take. You and your wife couldn't go to the wedding. People would wonder why you weren't there.
What if the bride already knows and says, "I love him and he loves me and we're getting married," and you hear Edith Piaf singing in the background, "Je ne regrette rien"?
You're walking a tightrope between comedy and tragedy. What if she acknowledges the situation? It will feel like a tragedy, and you will only come off badly. Or perhaps she is completely ignorant and you'll know you're part of a farce. Is she naive and too innocent to understand what she's getting into? Are you heroic enough to ask if they've made love?
As close as you are to the bride's family, it is none of your business. Dance with abandonment at her wedding, knowing that the situation in their marriage is not your concern.
If you feel you really have to say something, ask your old friend the father-of-the-bride, if the bride and groom have a prenup. Leave it at that.
Wedding invitation RSVP
A. We’re seeing a trend in the RSVP that’s putting people off-guard. You’re not the only one befuddled. Wedding invitations are arriving without the requisite reply card with its self-addressed return envelope. And, what’s more, there is no choice to make as to whether to check off beef, chicken, or fish on the menu order for the reception dinner.
Reserved for formal weddings, the etiquette of not providing a reply card is actually rather chic.
In six or seven separate lines, on your best personal stationery, you handwrite your own reply:
1. The name(s) of the person(s) replying: Ms. Barbara Brown or Mr. and Mrs. John Brown
2. Information as to whether you are accepting or regretting: accept(s) with pleasure or sincerely regret(s)
3. The third line is the politeness: the kind invitation of
4. The name(s) of the host(s): Mr. Williams or Mr. and Mrs. Williams
5. The date of the wedding: for July tenth
6. The time of the wedding: at six o’clock
3. The third line states the reason you are regretting: that because of a previous engagement
4. The fourth line says who is unable to accept: she/they will be unable to accept
5. The politeness: the kind invitation of
6. The name(s) of the host(s): Mrs. Williams or Mr. and Mrs. Williams
7. the date of the wedding: for July tenth
Ms. Barbara Brown
accepts with pleasure
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. Williams
for Saturday, July tenth
at six o’clock
Ms. Barbara Brown and Mr. Andrew Chase
that because of a previous engagement
they will be unable to accept
the kind invitation of Mrs. Williams
for Saturday, July tenth
- As you can see from the above examples, there isn’t much punctuation, which is why it is important to place the facts on six or seven consecutive lines.
- When the stationery you have doesn’t fit the occasion, use a boxed note card: either a simple plain note card or a correspondence card with a motif.
Addressing your reply envelope:
Using the envelope that came with your correspondence note card, or letterhead, address it to the name and address that appears on the original invitation envelope.
- When there is only the return address and no name associated with it, use the name of the host(s) that appears on the wedding invitation when addressing your reply envelope.
Didi Lorillard researches manners and etiquette at NewportManners.
Related Slideshow: 25 Things to Look Forward to in New England This Summer - 2017
The Burlington Discover Jazz Festival
The Burlington Discover Jazz Festival takes place from June 2 to June 11 in downtown Burlington, Vermont.
This 10 day celebration features four stages with free live music from Arrested Development and more. The festival also will feature local food and much more.
For more information, click here.
Taking a Cruise on a Windjammer
Head to Maine and sleep aboard a National Landmark, the Maine Windjammer Fleet.
Go on a three, four or six-day cruise and get closer than ever before to wildlife like whales, eagles, and porpoises while you see some of the best coastal scenery that North America has to offer.
After a successful first festival, the PVDFest returns to Providence for the third year and will take place from June 1-4.
The festival will bring in art, music, performances and more from all over the United States and the world for the free outdoor festival.
Catching a Worcester Bravehearts Game
Year after year, the Worcester Bravehearts are one of the best baseball teams in New England.
They bring in some of the best college talent from across the region to compete for the Futures League Championship.
Don't miss a game.
Visiting Cape Playhouse Theatre
Taking a ride to Cape Cod and visit the oldest summer theatre in the country, Cape Playhouse. Cape Playhouse was first opened in 1927 by Raymond Moore.
The theatre has been home to some of the biggest stars to ever grace a stage like Bette Davis, Humphrey Bogart amongst others.
Enjoying the South County Hot Air Balloon Fest
There is nothing quite like the Hot Air Ballon Fest. This is the place to enjoy glowing hot air balloons, crafts, music, food, fishing, carnival rides, fireworks, and more.
The festival will be held from July 21-23 on the URI athletic fields.
Participating in the Worcester World Cup 2017
The 2017 Worcester World Cup is set to take place from Friday, August 11 to Sunday, August 13.
The Worcester World Cup is more than a soccer tournament. It's a celebration of Worcester and a safe, friendly family event that people look forward to all year.
Newport Jazz Festival
The 2017 festival is set to take place from Friday, August 4 to Sunday, August 6.
The festival will show off over 50 individual jazz ensembles on four stages including performances at the International Tennis Hall of Fame and Fort Adams State Park.
Seeing a Movie at the Rustic Drive-In
Look forward to Calling up your friends, pack a picnic, and sit in your car as feature films are projected on giant outdoor screens.
The audio plays right through your radio, so be sure to turn the volume up high as you snack on your candy and popcorn.
Zip Lining in the Berkshires
Looking for something new and exciting? Head to the Berkshires and get yourself on a zip line, maybe even do a canopy tour.
There are three different tour options, starting with the base area tour which lasts an hour or the Moutain Top or Valley Jump tour which takes three hours. Both of those are sure to shoot some adrenaline into your day.
The Little League World Series
While the Little League World Series does not take place in New England, the series is arguably the marquee sporting event of the summer.
There will be a New England team in it this year and therefore, the Little League World Series is always something to look forward to
Catching a PawSox Game at McCoy
Nothing says summer time like sitting at McCoy Stadium and watching a Pawtucket Red Sox game.
While the PawSox are already in action, the weather is getting warmer and it will be much more comfortable to go out to a game.
Billy Joel at Fenway Park
For the fourth consecutive year, rock and roll legend Billy Joel will play Fenway Park.
Billy Joel released his first hit song, arguably still his biggest hit, Piano Man in 1973 and since then has become the 6th best-selling recording artist and the third best-selling solo artist in the United States.
Joel was inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame in 1992 and then the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1999.
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