Welcome! Login | Register

Worcester Man Killed During Motorcycle Accident on Father’s Day—Worcester Man Killed During Motorcycle Accident on Father's…

Smart Benefits: Form 5500 Due July 31—Smart Benefits: Form 5500 Due July 31

Some Presidential Father’s Day Trivia—The Sunday Political Brunch—June 17, 2018—Some Presidential Father’s Day Trivia -- The Sunday…

Worcester Man Arrested for Attempting to Break Into Home on Greenbush Road—Worcester Man Arrested for Attempting to Break Into…

MA Adds 6,200 Jobs in May—MA Adds 6,200 Jobs in May

Blackstone Valley Tech Grads Secure $6 Million in Scholarships—Blackstone Valley Tech Grads Secure $6 Million in…

Leonard Moorehead, the Urban Gardener: Pomp and Circumstance—Leonard Moorehead, the Urban Gardener: Pomp and Circumstance

Monfredo: House Members Need to Step Up & Support Funding for Education—Monfredo: House Members Need to Step Up &…

Fit for Life: Be Aware of Calories—Fit for Life: Be Aware of Calories

10 Great Things to do in Worcester This Weekend - June 15, 2018—10 Great Things to do in Worcester This…


Newport Manners & Etiquette: Nanny Cams + Relationship Busters

Wednesday, October 30, 2013


Not sure how to accessorize your suit with the right tie? Didi can help!

Breaking off maintenance friendships, spying on the nanny with hidden cameras, and how to tell your babe she's contagious? There are ties and there are ties. All topics into Didi Lorillard this week at NewportManners.com.

Assessing the hidden nanny spy cam

Dear Didi,
We love our children's nanny, but we're disturbed by all the incidents of nannies-going-out-of-control. Since our second child, our beloved nanny seems bedraggled and we worry. My husband and I work full-time. We're also worried that if we have a nanny cam set up and she finds out, she will think we've lost confidence in her abilities and the whole relationship will break down. Is there a more polite way of assessing the situation than hiding cameras in the house to spy on her? R.M., Providence
Dear R.M.,
Sit down with the beloved, bedraggled nanny and have a heart-to-heart. This is the person who is responsible for your two children eight hours a day, but you're responsible for them 24/7. Gently ask her how she's adjusting to having two children to mind when she had originally been hired to care for only one. Watch her body language. If it tightens up and yet she fidgets, try to get her to relax enough so that she can tell you what you can do to make her job easier. Cut down on her hours? Give her more time off? She may breathe a sigh or relief and open up. She may even get teary-eyed. That's okay, because then you know you can work with her to smooth out wrinkles. Such as enlisting a relative or hiring a college student to pitch in with the older child or finding someone to come in to clean and do laundry. If she won't communicate, there may well be anger issues and that's a very bad sign. Talk to her and work it out or find a stronger support team, before you get to the stage of hiding cameras. ~Didi

The unromantic lip sore

Dear Didi,
My girlfriend has a sore on her lip. She said she got it from trying on lipstick colors in a department store. Should I be concerned? D.N., Peabody, MA
Dear D.N.,
Gently suggest that you're concerned about the outbreak of the sore on her mouth and tell her to ask a pharmacist to recommend a product for her to use. Follow up and ask her what the pharmacist recommended. If the outbreak flares again, tell her she has to see a doctor or dentist to treat the ongoing problem. When you're gentle and genuinely concerned about her health and appearance, she'll respond, although you may have to offer to pay for the treatment. ~Didi

The best ties

Dear Didi,
What type of tie fabric/pattern should a man wear to a semi formal event? S.M., Brooklyn, NY
Dear S.M.,
A good tie for a fairly formal event is made of three pieces of heavyweight silk that comprise the blade, under blade, and gusset which are hand sewn together. The heavier weight silk holds colors of greater intensity; the weight and texture of the silk determine the feel of the tie. When laying the tie across the palm of your hand it should feel significant and not easily slide off.
The pattern for evening would more than likely be a dark solid herringbone with spots in a different color. Alternatively, a two-color square design, a two-color diagonal diamond pattern, a two-color hounsdstooth, or a plain solid color twill tie are also warn with dark suits. A repp (diagonally-striped) tie in two colors works best with more casual jackets, such as a blazer or sports jacket. Linen ties are for summer or tropical locals and wool is primarily worn in a cooler climate in the daytime. Lastly, don't wear a button-down shirt after six o'clock, especially with a good tie. ~Didi

Maintenance friendships

Dear Didi,
On a cruise we took six years ago we met another couple whom we really liked at the time. When we got home we would see them every couple of months, but now we accept the invitations to dinner and have them back, but only out of a sense of obligation. We've come to dread having to make time for them. How do we break it off with this other couple without hurting their feelings? P.W., Exeter
Dear P.W.,
You never know, the other couple may feel the same strained obligation to keep the invitations flowing for sentimental reasons. The next time it is your turn to reciprocate suggest that you go to a concert, play, or movie where it is understood that you would grab a quick bite to eat ahead of time, which will minimize the actual time you'll have to engage in chit-chat. Then if it is tit for tat, they'll perhaps stall in inviting you back. ~Didi
Do you have a question to ask Didi? Email it to [email protected] or visit her at NewportManners.com. If we use your question, we can withhold your name and address. Didi researches etiquette and all matters of manners for her book,"Newport Etiquette." Prior weekly GoLocalProv.com columns are listed below. More topics can be accessed through a search.

Related Slideshow: Foodie Getaways in Massachusetts

Food lovers will love these destinations statewide for indulging your palate.

Prev Next

Gourmet Getaway

Vienna Historic Inn + Restaurant, Southbridge, MA

A feast for all your appetites. This historic inn is filled with old world charm, antiques, chandeliers & steins. Each room is adorned with soft music, ambience and uniqueness. You will be delighted with hard-to-find Austrian, German, Swiss, French as well local meats, seafood and vegan options. An extensive gluten-free menu available. The beer garden will be open through the end of the October.

14 South Street, Sturbridge Restaurants Road, Southbridge, MA. 508-764-0700. www.thevienna.com

Prev Next

Jewish Food Tour

Ahla Food Tours, Brookline, MA

Explore Jewish cuisine on this eye-opening 3-hour walking tour of historical Brookline and experience what TV Diner called a "fabulous Boston neighborhood tour!" and Jewish Advocate raved is "whetting the appetites of Jewish and non-Jewish diners alike". You'll taste authentic Jewish food - matzo ball soup, latkes, falafel, kosher wines, noodle kugel ice cream and dozens more. Hear unique anecdotes about the welcoming Brookline purveyors and savor the rich history of Jewish Brookline.

1230 Commonwealth Ave., Boston, MA. 617-821-7667. foodbyfoot.com

Prev Next

Brewery Internship

Blue Hills Brewery, Canton, MA

We're lucky in Massachusetts to have many microbreweries, large and small, for touring and tasting. But Blue Hills Brewery has combined its makes great tasting beers with a real educational imperative--an internship. A dream come true for beer lovers, candidates can vie for working with Blue Hills' Master Brewer Andris Veidis in a true apprenticeship. Not for the casual brewer. To learn more, check online, here. http://bluehillsbrewery.com/internship.php

1020 Turnpike Street, Canton, MA. 781-821-2337. bluehillsbrewery.com

Prev Next

Sweet Destination

Sweet Dessert Bar, Worcester, MA

A dessert lover's destination, Sweet was recently in the news for having challenged New York chef Dominique Ansel as laying claim to the invention of the cronut. Whether you're team Worcester or team NYC, enjoy Sweet's lounge chairs or sit at the bar, have a drink and watch as the chefs prepare a one of a kind dish for you. Not your average piece of cake, Sweet's appetizers and desserts are inspired by the freshest local ingredients, seasonal fruits, and artisan chocolates.

305 Shrewsbury St., Worcester, MA. 508-373-2248. www.sweetworcester.com

Prev Next

Old + New Dining

The Farm Table, Bernardston, MA

In the lush Pioneer Valley between Deerfield and the Vermont border, this remarkably restored 1800 farmhouse features cutting-edge green energy and the freshest local and regional foods seasonally available. Combine a delicious sojourn with holiday shopping at Kringle Candle and Kringle Christmas Barn.

219 South Street (Rte. 5), Bernardston, MA. 413-648-5200. kringlefarmtable.com

Prev Next

Fried Clam Pilgrimage

Woodman's of Essex, Essex, MA

Keep summer alive year-round by making a pilgrimage to this institution that is counting down to its 100-year anniversary. Go for the fried clams, because that's what was invented here on July 3rd, 1916. Lawrence "Chubby" Woodman, at the humorous suggestion of a friend, fried up a few clams at his roadside stand in Essex, Massachusetts and the original fried clams were born.

121 Main St, Essex, MA. 800-649-1773. www.woodmans.com

Prev Next

Oyster Expedition

East Dennis Oyster Farm, Cape Cod, MA

If you think oysters are a summer pleasure, you're right but you're wrong. Late October and November yield some of the best oysters, so consider bundling up and heading to the Cape for a tour of John and Stephanie Lowell's farm on the tidal flats off Quivett Neck. To make an appointment for a tour, go here.

484 Center Street, Dennis, MA. 508-398-3123. www.dennisoysters.com

Prev Next

Hit the Trail

Massachusetts Wine + Cheese Trail

A wine and cheese trail in Massachusetts? That’s right, the Bay State features 40 licensed wineries, producing wine from a collection of locally grown fruits – grapes, apples, cranberries, peaches, and blueberries – across, roughly, a total of 2,200-acres of wine farm land, where 439 acres are devoted exclusively to wine production. You can download a map and pick up the trail at any place, exploring small and pristine providers.

Read more and download a map, here.

Prev Next

Wine in the City

City Wine Tours, Cambridge, MA

Want an urban oenophelia adventure? City Wine Tours is the perfect gateway to enjoying Boston's vibrant wine culture and best restaurants. Sip, savor, and explore as we take you on a walking tour through Boston's most historic neighborhoods, with stops at award-winning restaurants, luxury hotels and gourmet wine shops. Cheers.

One Mifflin Place, Suite 400, Cambridge, MA. 855-455-8747. www.citywinetours.com

Prev Next

A New Kind of Crawl

Dishcrawl Pioneer Valley, Springfield, MA

You love a pub crawl? How about a restaurant crawl? The foodies at Dishcrawl aim to provide you with Pioneer Valley's premier culinary social experience by bringing together neighborhood restaurants, local chefs, regional food producers and fellow food enthusiasts. Join for a one-of-a-kind gastronomic adventure! Check out next week's All Hallows Eve crawl in Amherst, MA.

22 Malibu Drive, Springfield, MA. 413-351-2148. dishcrawl.com/pioneervalley


Related Articles


Enjoy this post? Share it with others.



Stay Connected — Free
Daily Email