Newport Manners + Etiquette: The Blue Tuxedo + Other Updates
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Wedding etiquette + the blue tuxedo
Q. After watching all those colorful tuxedos on the red carpet at the Oscars last night, we’re thinking about my fiancé and his groomsmen wearing navy blue tuxedos at our fall wedding. What is the etiquette on tuxedos that are not black? Fiancée, Providence
A. More and more, the standard black wedding tuxedo is shunned in favor of a tuxedo in midnight blue, royal blue, navy blue, off-white, beige, grey, and even deep red. The groom sets the dress code for the groomsmen, which means if he is wearing a navy blue tuxedo, his groomsmen will follow suit.
From Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne in midnight blue to fellow British ‘Selma’ star David Ovelowo donning deep red, colorful tuxedos studded the red carpet in an array of vivid and soft tones -- all equally stunning on stage.
Choice of color reflects the season or the climate. LA’s mild weather means any color goes. On the other hand, in the depths of a northern winter, beige, light blue and off-white tuxedos would look silly, because they’re too summery looking.
You would not inconvenience your male guests by listing a mandatory dress code such as ‘Navy Blue Tuxedo.’A well-mannered host would give guests the unspoken option of wearing a standard tuxedo or best business suit by not listing a dress code on the invitation — however, you could list the dress code on your wedding website — for example, by simply using ‘Business Suits.’ ~Didi
Who wears suspenders?
A. Suspender wearers are dashing lookers, and, yes, forty-five is just the right age to start wearing them. They reek of success. Nevertheless, there are serious dos and don'ts.
For instance, you wouldn't wear suspenders, also called braces, with metal clips in the front and back. Instead, suspenders/braces should have buttonholes in leather and the trousers have to have buttons on theinner waistband. Ideally the suspender fabric, which would be silk or felt, should not be too narrow.
For a cool guide to wearing suspenders/braces, Antonio Centeno is an authority. To learn more, here is a link to his helpful infographic, 'How To Properly Wear Suspenders?'
To find up-to-date suspenders/braces, go to the Paul Stuart website and click on Belts + Braces. ~Didi
What's up with plaid?
Q. Not sure about plaids, when to wear or not wear. Casual Fridays? Out on a dinner date? Zoe, Newark, N.J.
A. A limited amount of plaid in small grids is chic. Especially in combos of beige-brown or gray-navy. Think Burberry — where you hardly see the plaid lining of the trench coat until it is unbuttoned. A red tartan evening gown would be too much of a good thing. Try to avoid a plaid that has bright contrasting colors with a wide grid — because it will make you look much larger than you are. People in show business under thirty wear bright plaids to catch the eye of the paparazzi.
Honestly, it is the tight black and white glen plaid — that looks grey from a distance — that is the plaid nobody tires of -- ever. Especially on a blouse worn with a well-fitted pantsuit or as a slim fitting skirt paired with a white or black top. The best match with a plaid or tartan is solid black or white. The plaid or tartan of a well-cut slim blazer, skirt, or slacks are fine, but avoid it on billowing sleeves and puffy skirts. For men, a plaid bathrobe is hard to lose sight of, but bright red plaid trousers and blazers are really a bit much.
Mixing plaids with florals and animal prints is hard to pull off, unless in apparel by Etro or Roberto Cavalli. However, a pop of plaid as a bag, scarf, tie, socks or women's shoes can be festively warming and playful. ~Didi
Shirttail étiquette
A. 'Manners maketh man,' should include shirttail etiquette. Men mistakenly think that leaving shirttails out makes them appear more youthful. Well it isn't true, the skinny on this myth is that loose tails make a man look fatter. Athletes like David Beckham can get away with their shirttails out -- because who would even notice the shirttails -- nevertheless, other men in the public eye like Brad Pitt opt for keeping their shirttails securely belted into their trousers.
With your shirttails hanging out you would look like you were trying to still be a teenager who doesn't know any better. Nor do you want to go for the stylishly rumpled look by wearing your tails under a jacket or with a business suit, because you'll then look as though you pulled an all-nighter -- and I don't mean at the office.
The simple rule is this. Any shirt with tails is meant to be tucked in. Shirts with a flat bottom hem are designed to be worn untucked. However, a Hawaiian shirt or polo shirt can go either way. When in doubt, a shirt with visible tails -- that is not even all the way around the bottom hem of the shirt -- looks tidier tucked in.
Are you thinking about wearing a polo shirt to work on casual Friday? Tucking it in looks ever so slightly more business-like -- but don't forget to wear a belt.
The etiquette is all about getting the shirt to stay in your trousers, so make sure you buy shirts that fall at least four to five inches below the waistline of your trousers. Otherwise your shirt is likely to ride up and fold over your belt. Slim-fitting shirts are easier to keep tucked into your trousers -- especially when worn with a tightly cinched belt.
Don't get caught up in the style-trap apparent on men of a certain age, who think it's cool to tuck in one tail and leave the other out dangling in the wind -- to presumably hide their beer or wheat belly. The 'Beckham half-tuck' looks good only on a man in as good shape as David Beckham -- and especially don't think of it, if you're over 25 and are not a professional soccer player.
For detailed expert advice on the etiquette on how men should dress, search 'Shirt Tails' on The Art of Manliness at http://www.theartofmanilness.com ~Didi
Do you have a dilemma for Didi about love, family, a relationship or life in general? Visit NewportManners.com, where Didi researches etiquette and all matters of manners for her book, "Newport Etiquette." If your Question is used, we can withhold your name and/or location. Do explore some of Didi Lorillard's earlier columns listed below.
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