Newport Manners & Etiquette: Utterly Casual Yacht Wedding, Whatever Gender Restrooms, No-Show Guest
Wednesday, August 02, 2017
Q. At a seated dinner recently the man whose name was on the place card next to me didn't show up. It was a table of ten seated boy-girl, boy-girl, etc. His date didn't show up either, so there were two empty seats at our table of ten. A gate crasher took one of the vacant seats. He was the bride's hairdresser and was an entertaining fill-in. Someone suggested I move over a spot. I did but at a big table like that it is hard to equally talk to the person on your left and the person on your right when there is an empty space between you. I was impressed that the host came over right after we sat down to say he was sorry that the missing couple had to leave because of an emergency, and asked if it was alright if he sent over a gate crasher.
The hard part for me was that the only actual person I sat next to was stuck with me and I with him. What would you have done, Didi? AV, Newport, RI
A. At some point before the entree was cleared, you could have suggested that the one person seated next to you switch seats with a person across the table. You could say, "Let's shake up the table a bit and switch you with George when the wedding cake is served." It takes social skills to make such a switch, but if you take the lead you can make it happen gracefully, if not humorously.
Doctor Patient confidentiality
Q. My husband and I are currently without health insurance and he's been taking an over-the-counter anti-depressent called SAM-e, which makes him irritable and at times either whiny or overly-anxious -- or both. His primary physician doesn't know he is taking SAMe. But I feel I should tell him. My husband insists it is as good, if not better, than any of the expensive prescription antidepressants he took when we had health insurance, pre Obamacare. Should I just be happy that he is no longer depressed and grin and bear the whining and anxiety. Long-Suffering Wife, West Bath, ME
A. The US Food and Drug Administration doesn't sufficiently regulate over-the-counter herbs supplements, so the jury is still out on whether antidepressants such as SAM-e are totally safe. What you can do is to persuade your husband to talk to his primary care physician about SAM-e to see if any medication he is also taking works with the SAM-e, or against it. For instance SAM-e could possibly affect bleeding risk if your husband is also taking any drug that affects bleeding, such as aspirin or blood thinners. Or if he takes a drug to control his blood pressure.
What you can say to your primary care doctor is this: I'm concerned that SAM-e may not be working well for Jack. Can you please talk to him about what he's taking, how much he's taking and how often, so that he can get a reality check on his mood swings.
His doctor may not know he's taking SAM-e, so you want to assume for the safety of your husband that his doctor knows about the SAM-e.
Utterly Casual Yacht Wedding
Q. My boyfriend and I are invited to a wedding taking place at sea on a yacht. What do we wear? What should we know about a yacht wedding? The dress code is Utterly Casual. Since there are 150 guests we don't want to be underdressed or overdressed. We're not sure what Utterly Casual means for a wedding on a boat! PH, Manhattan
A. You can assume that the bride and groom will be dressed casually, but more formally than their guests. They want everyone to relax and have a good time.
- Most important is footwear. Shoes should be broken in so they won't slip or slide on slippery high polished flooring. Don't wear spiked heels that could damage any wooden floors.
- Your boyfriend would wear a navy blue blazer or any lightweight linen jacket, a collared open shirt and dress khakis, colored or white trousers with possibly a rubber sole shoe. A tie would be optional.
- As the bride will be dressed super casually, you wouldn't want to wear anything that might be dressier than what she's wearing. A jumpsuit would be terrific or any dress that moves well in the wind and on the dance floor that's not puffy with fabric or tacky with sequins.
It goes without saying that sunscreen and a hat are a must for a daytime wedding at sea.
Whatever gender restroom
A. Yes, say it loud and clear: "Do either of you have toilet paper you can share?" Chances are good that one or the other will listen to your need.
Didi Lorillard researches manners and etiquette at NewportManners.com for her upcoming book NEWPORTMANNERS.
Related Slideshow: 20 Cool Things to do in New England Before Summer Ends - August 2018
Go Karting at R1 Indoor Karting Entertainment Center
The R1 Indoor Karting Entertainment Center recently opened in Lincoln showcasing fast electric karts with top technology.
The karts can go up to 45MPH but they are “smart” karts, so you work you way up to that speed.
R1 features a “Junior” track for ages 6-15 and an “Adult” track, both with four-speed levels. All karts are electric and powered by green technology.
Free Admission at Old Sturbridge Village
Old Sturbridge Village in Massachusetts is offering free admission for the entire month of August.
During the month, Old Sturbridge Village offers the following events:
- See the Charlotte's Web Experience - watch as live actors/musicians tell the classic E.B. White tale at the Village's own Freeman Farm.
- See Redcoats & Rebels, the largest Revolutionary War battle re-enactment in New England, on August 4-5.
- Meet costumed artisans, farmers, and historians who will make your visit come to life!
- Explore more than 40 historic homes, trade shops, meetinghouses, covered bridges, and barns.
- Ride a horse-drawn stagecoach through the countryside and explore the Quinebaug River by boat.
- Meet our family of heritage breed animals including cows, sheep, chickens, pigs, and oxen.
- Visit the new exhibition, Early New England Quilts: Repurposed, Refashioned, and Reused, and introduce kids to this practical art.
- Enjoy ice cream and homemade cookies at our famous bake shop.
Since 1983, the Boston Fire Museum has operated in the old firehouse on Congress street showing off the history of the Boston Fire Department. The Museum shows off antique fire equipment, fire alarm displays, photo displays, and artifacts.
Admission to the Museum is FREE.
PHOTO: Boston Fire Museum
Visit the Newport Tennis Hall of Fame
The Newport Tennis Hall of Fame offers plenty of cool exhibits for everyone to learn about the history of tennis.
Their newest exhibit titled "50 Years of Open Tennis" just opened and celebrates the anniversary of the Open Era.
PHOTO: Newport Tennis Hall of Fame
See a Show at Cape Playhouse in Cape Cod
Cape Cod, MA
Take a ride to Cape Cod and visit the oldest summer theatre in the country, Cape Playhouse. Cape Playhouse was first opened in 1927 by Raymond Moore.
The theatre has been home to some of the biggest stars to ever grace a stage like Bette Davis, Humphrey Bogart amongst others.
See a replica of the world's first submarine and learn about it through films before heading about the USS Nautilus for a free audio tour.
Nautilus was the first nuclear-powered submarine and the first vessel to travel 20,000 leagues under the sea. The ship is now open to the public year-round and is free.
Who doesn't love Teddy Bears? Assuming that you do, plan a trip to Vermont and take a tour of the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory and see how the bears are made.
Tours run seven days a week and children under 12 are FREE. The tours take about an hour and 15 minutes.
Spend Time at Biomes Marine Biology Center
North Kingstown, RI
Check out the cool Marine Biology Center in North Kingstown.
It is a great place for both adults and kids to enjoy.
"The Biomes Center is New England's only private marine education facility and the most hands-on aquarium in the region. We've been providing interactive marine biology programs for schools and families since 1989.
We specialize in teaching children and adults about the marine animals of Narragansett Bay and the Atlantic Ocean," writes Biomes on their website.
Chocolate lovers this is for you.
Take a free tour of Lake Champlain Chocolates and even get some free samples. What is better than that?
The tour takes approximately 30 minutes and is seated. There is no walking involved.
Tours run Monday to Friday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.but are limited to 35 people.
People have been drawn to the rugged coast of Maine throughout history. Awed by its beauty and diversity, early 20th-century visionaries donated the land that became Acadia National Park.
The park is home to many plants and animals, and the tallest mountain on the U.S. Atlantic coast.
Visit Acadia and hike granite peaks, bike historic carriage roads, or relax and enjoy the scenery.
The park entrance fee is FREE from August 25th to the 28th.
Besides that, admission is $12 while those 15 and under are FREE of charge
Eat Ice Cream at Brickleys
Brickley’s simply has to be one of the best ice cream shops in the state. Why else would anyone wait in the long lines that form on a hot summer afternoon?
This family-owned Mecca to all things creamy, sweet and delicious is a must-stop before the ride back home from the beach. This is old-fashioned ice cream at its best.
Looking for something new and exciting? Head to the Berkshires and get yourself on a zip line, maybe even do a canopy tour.
There are three different tour options, starting with the base area tour which lasts an hour or the Moutain Top or Valley Jump tour which takes three hours. Both of those are sure to shoot some adrenaline into your day.
Visit Mark Twain's House, Maybe Take a Writing Class
Mark Twain is one of the greatest authors to ever pick up a pen and not only can you tour the house where he wrote famous works such as Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, you can take writing classes there.
Writing classes, in Mark Twain's house? How do you turn one of those down?
Classes are offered at various times throughout the day and week.
The New Hampshire State House, located in Concord is the oldest state capitol building in which legislature still meets in is original chambers.
The building was completed in 1819 with additions made in 1866 and 1910.
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