Don't Give Booze to the Sick

In the Bay State, it's illegal to bring beers to the hospital and give them to a patient. 

Full Law: Chapter 270: Section 5. Giving, selling or delivering alcoholic beverages or drugs to hospital patients; possession.

Section 5. Whoever, except under the direction of a physician, gives, sells or delivers alcoholic beverages, as defined in section one of chapter one hundred and thirty-eight, or a narcotic drug to a patient in any hospital who is suffering from inebriety or from the effect of inebriety, or from excessive use of narcotic drugs or from the effect of such use, and whoever has in his possession within the precincts of any hospital any such beverage or drug with intent to convey or deliver it to any such patient, except under direction as aforesaid, shall be punished by a fine of not more than fifty dollars or by imprisonment for not more than two months.

Make Way for Ducklings After May 1st

It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.

Full Law: Chapter 272: Section 80D: Living rabbits, baby chickens, ducklings or other fowl

No person shall sell, offer for sale, barter or give away as premiums living baby chickens, ducklings or other fowl under two months of age.

No person shall sell, offer for sale, barter, display or give away living rabbits, chickens, ducklings or other fowl which have been dyed, colored or otherwise treated so as to impart to them an artificial color.

Nothing in this section shall be construed to prohibit the sale or display of baby chickens, ducklings or other fowl under two months of age by breeders or stores engaged in the business of selling for purposes of commercial breeding and raising; provided, however, that prior to May first in any year, such ducklings may be sold or purchased only in quantities of twenty-four or more.

This section shall not prohibit, however, the sale or donation of such chickens, ducklings or fowl to schools for use in classroom instruction.

Whoever violates the provisions of this section shall be punished by a fine of not more than one hundred dollars.

Image: JMarsh/Flickr (Cropped)

Do Not Use the Lord's Name in Vain

Full Law: Chapter 272: Section 36 Blasphemy

Whoever wilfully blasphemes the holy name of God by denying, cursing or contumeliously reproaching God, his creation, government or final judging of the world, or by cursing or contumeliously reproaching Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, or by cursing or contumeliously reproaching or exposing to contempt and ridicule, the holy word of God contained in the holy scriptures shall be punished by imprisonment in jail for not more than one year or by a fine of not more than three hundred dollars, and may also be bound to good behavior.

Don't Screw Around with Milk Cartons

It's illegal to deface a milk carton in any way in Mass. You'll be punished with a stiff penatly of $10 if you do.

Full Law: Chapter 266: Section 128 Milk cans; defacement

Whoever, without the consent of the owner thereof, knowingly and willfully effaces, alters or covers over, or procures to be effaced, altered or covered over, the name, initial or device of any dealer in milk, marked or stamped upon a milk can, or whoever, with intent to defraud and without such consent, detains or uses in his business any such can having the name, initial or device of any dealer in milk so marked or stamped thereon, shall be punished by a fine of not more than ten dollars

You Can't Raffle Off a Live Animal

It's illegal in Massachusetts for a live animal to be a prize in a game or contest. So there goes the "Hit a Hole-in-One, Win this Pig" promotion.

Full Law: Chapter 272 Section 80F Giving away live animals as prize or award

No person shall offer or give away any live animal as a prize or an award in a game, contest or tournament involving skill or chance. The provisions of this section shall not apply to awards made to persons participating in programs relating to animal husbandry.

Whoever violates the provisions of this section shall be punished by a fine of not more than one hundred dollars.

You'll Take Those Stilts Off If You Want to Work in this State

It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building.

Full Law: Chapter 149: Section 129B Stilts; penatly for requiring or knowlingly permitting use in construction

Whoever, being engaged in construction work, requires or knowingly permits any person employed by him in such work to use certain devices, commonly called stilts, designed to be attached to the feet or legs of such employee for the purpose of elevating him to high placed or positioned work, shall be punished by a fine of not more than five hundred dollars for the first offense, by a fine of not more than three thousand dollars for the second offense, and by a fine of not more than five thousand dollars for any subsequent offense.

Mules Belong on the 1st Floor!

It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits.

Full Law: Chapter 272 section 86 Stabling horses or mules on second or higher floors, in places other than cities

No person shall stable a horse or mule on the second or any higher floor of any building, unless there are two means of exit therefrom, at opposite ends of the building, to the main or street floor, unless such building is equipped with an automatic sprinkler system. This section shall not apply to cities.

Pick Up those Fruit Peels Before Someone Trips

In the city of Cambridge it's illegal to throw orange peels and other fruit rinds onto city sidewalks. Someone could slip!

Full Law: Section 12.16.100 Sidewalks - Obstruction - Fruit Peelings

No person shall wilfully and maliciously tip over and spill out the contents of any box or barrel containing ashes or other house dirt set upon the sidewalk. No person shall throw or place upon any sidewalk or crosswalk any banana skin, orange peel or other slippery substance.

I Can't Taste the Booze in This Candy!

It's illegal to have more than 1% of alcohol in a piece of candy.

Full law: Chapter 270: Section 8. Selling candy containing alcohol.

Section 8. Whoever sells to a person any candy enclosing or containing liquid or syrup having more than one per cent of alcohol shall be punished by a fine of not more than one hundred dollars.

The Gorilla called Shotgun!

A very loose interpretation of a MA law has become the popular "No Gorillas in the Backseat of a Car." However, the actual law states that any wild animal cannot be transported in the back of a car unless its caged.

Full Law: Chapter 90 Section 22H Safe Transportation of Animals

No person shall transport an animal in the back of a motor vehicle in a space intended for a load on the vehicle on a public way unless such space is enclosed or has side and tail racks to a height of at least 46 inches extending vertically from the floor, the animal is cross tethered to the vehicle, the animal is protected by a secured container or cage or the animal is otherwise protected in a manner which will prevent the animal from being thrown or from falling or jumping from the vehicle. Whoever violates the provisions of this section shall be punished by a fine of not less than $50.

Take the Fight...Inside!

Public boxing matches are illegal in MA. So put the gloves down.

Full law: Chapter 265: Section 12. Boxing matches; penalty.

Section 12. Whoever, except as provided in sections thirty-two to fifty, inclusive, of chapter one hundred and forty-seven, engages in or gives or promotes a public boxing match or sparring exhibition, or engages in a private boxing match or sparring exhibition, for which the contestants have received or have been promised any pecuniary reward, remuneration or consideration whatsoever, directly or indirectly, shall be punished by a fine of not more than two hundred dollars or by imprisonment for not more than three months, or both

You Can't Pretend to Be Shooting Your Enemy

Targets at shooting ranges cannot resemble a human being.

Full Law: Chapter 140: Section 131. Licenses to carry firearms; Class A and B; conditions and restrictions.

...Such club shall not permit shooting at targets that depict human figures, human effigies, human silhouettes or any human images thereof, except by public safety personnel performing in line with their official duties.

Come Clean About the Literal Skeletons in Your Closet

If someone is murdered or commits suicide in a home you're trying to sell, you're not obligated by law to tell the buyers. Same goes if your home has been tainted by paranormal phenomena. If they don't ask about it, then that's their own fault.

However, it is illegal to lie about it if someone asks you if there's ghosts in your house.

Full law: Chapter 93 Section 114 Real estate transactions; disclosure; psychologically impacted property

Sellers and brokers do not have to disclose to buyers or tenants the fact that a property is perceived to be tainted by the health of a previous occupant, a murder or suicide, or paranormal phenomena. However, they may not be deceitful in answers to questions about the property.

Don't Be Just Hanging Around and Loitering Near Funeral Homes Ok?

Anyone caught loitering, or basically doing anything else near a funeral home can face jail time and a fine of up to $1,000.

Have some decency and do your creeping around 501 feet or more from the funeral home.

Full Law: Chapter 272 Section 42A Disturbance of Funeral Services

Whoever pickets, loiters or otherwise creates a disturbance within five hundred feet of a funeral home, church or temple or other building where funeral services are being held, shall be punished by a fine of not more than one thousand dollars or by imprisonment for not more than one year in a house of correction, or both.

No Fun to See Here: Silly String and Water Guns Banned in Marlborough

In 1988, silly string apparently caused enough problems during a Labor Day parade in Marlborough that the city had no choice but to ban it. The city tossed it in with water guns and ended everyones summer.

Kids these days!

Full Law:  Ord. No. 88-2468A

It shall be unlawful for any person to sell or expose for sale, use or cause or permit to be used, an instrument or weapon of the kind usually known as "air rifle," "air gun" or ammunition therefor, "slingshot," "bean blower," "switchblade knife," "automatic knife," "push-button knife," "snap knife," "swingback knife" or "spring blade knife," "water pistol" or "air pistol," or any instrument or product designed to project a string or streamer of plastic material.

Don't Frighten Those Poor Pigeons!

Full Law: Chapter 266: Section 132: Pigeons, Killing or Frightening

Whoever wilfully kills pigeons upon, or frightens them from, beds which have been made for the purpose of taking them in nets, by any method, within one hundred rods of the same, except on land lawfully occupied by himself, shall be punished by imprisonment for not more than one month or by a fine of not more than twenty dollars, and shall also be liable for the actual damages to the owner or occupant of such beds.

We Won the Championship! Let's Leave the Goal Posts Up!

In Massachusetts, it's illegal and punishable with a $200 fine to take down football goal posts or to "injure" it in any way.

Full Law: Chapter 266: Section 104A Goal posts; penalty for destruction

Whoever wilfully and without right destroys, injures or removes a goal post on a football field shall be punished by a fine of not less than fifty nor more than two hundred dollars.

Those Cattle Better Not Be Mexican!

It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road. If you get caught, better be ready to pay up $100.

Full Law: Chapter 129 Section 35 Driving certain cattle on public ways or roads

Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, Indian or other cattle, which the director has reason to believe may spread contagious disease, shall not be driven on any public way or road, or outside the stockyards connected with any railroad in the commonwealth, contrary to an order of the director, and they shall be kept in different pens from those in which other cattle are kept in all stockyards in the commonwealth. Whoever violates any provision of this section shall be punished by a fine of not less than twenty nor more than one hundred dollars.