Finneran: Three Powerful Words

Friday, November 04, 2016

Tom Finneran, GoLocalWorcester MINDSETTER™

“I love you.”

Are there any more powerful words than those?

Consider the circumstances where those wonderfully human words are uttered.

“I love you.”

The young mother with her first-born child, holding a precious miracle of life in her arms, letting her baby know the immensity of her love. Human life has moved from her womb to her arms, warm arms now wrapped in the protection of her child from a crazy cold indifferent world. And those simple words, whispered in mom’s unique voice, let the baby know that she has a real-world angel watching over her, forever.

Perhaps it’s the young father, bowled over by the realization that this infant is his child, his very own flesh and blood, his DNA incarnate. What young father is not frightened by the awesome responsibilities which lie ahead? What young father is not overwhelmed by the biology of his baby? What young father would fail to lean down and whisper in that baby’s ear of his rookie fright and his simultaneous fierce determination to protect and provide for that baby?

“I love you.”

Such profoundly sad words when whispered in your parent’s ear as life ebbs away...... Sad words certainly for you to utter to a loved in those final minutes of life, yet so soothing and consoling to a mother or father whose life embers fade. To their last breath they remain concerned and protective of you, their child, and now that child comforts them with the thought that it’s all right for them to let go.

Or perhaps the words are offered to a brother or sister battling a ferocious disease and losing that battle in front of your eyes. Those words of love can erase lots of scar tissue and create genuine long-lost smiles. Brothers and sisters always battle. They always have and they always will. It’s not a phenomenon unique to the Irish. It’s the way of the world. But so is the bond of blood and affection, of sticking up for a sibling against an outsider, even if that sibling just bloodied your nose.

“I love you.”

Sometimes these dramatic words are uttered nervously. Perhaps you’ve dated someone for a while. Feelings begin to emerge. You want to give voice to such feelings but you’re not sure how your friend will react. Do her feelings match yours? Is she wrestling with similar emotions? Similar fears? There’s a lot of vulnerability in those words. You’re out on a limb, hopeful but very nervous. And if by chance you embark on life’s journey together how often those three words will help you navigate life’s joys and life’s losses together.

Of course there are other powerful words.............

How about “I was wrong”? Or “I am sorry”? Harsh words, silly arguments, or selfish deeds should be addressed and erased. Is there anything more effacing than the words “I was wrong”? Every married guy I know has uttered those words, many such guys offering them quite frequently. Guys are slow learners in oh so many ways.......thus the frequency of the acknowledgement that they were wrong. Of course the guys who are fast learners master the act of being “wrong” just to end the disagreement. They’ll acknowledge that they were “wrong” even if they are one hundred percent blameless. It’s called a survival skill and it’s particularly important to your life if you’re married to a redhead. Am I right?

“Please forgive me” or, conversely, “I forgive you” are extremely powerful words. One connotes genuine sorrow and distress. The other connotes kindness and love. These words convey the essence of Judeo-Christian thought...........to ask to have our trespasses forgiven “as we forgive those who trespass against us”. So easy to ask, so hard to do.........................

The nation is about to conclude a very long season of very harsh words. The elections are certainly important.

So are our words.

Tom Finneran is the former Speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives, served as the head the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, and was a longstanding radio voice in Boston radio.