Amidst nonsense, Patriots have reason to celebrate

Monday, December 27, 2010

Mike Parente, GoLocalProv Sports Editor

This sure as hell beats celebrating a meaningless kickoff return.

The New England Patriots finally have something significant to brag about this season following Sunday’s 34-3 win in Buffalo. They’ve officially clinched the No. 1 seed in the AFC, which means they’ll get a first-round bye in the playoffs and have home-field advantage throughout.

And while that’s still no reason to pop champagne, perhaps it’ll give us a break from some of the ridiculous “records” and “achievements” the Patriots have been shoving in our faces all season.

For example, did you know Tom Brady now owns the NFL record for consecutive games with at least two touchdown passes and no interceptions, breaking the previous record set by the late Don Meredith? Did you care? Bill Belichick doesn’t. He says stats are for losers, yet the Patriots continue to celebrate everything from the inane to the insane, such as Dan Connolly’s record-setting 71-yard kickoff return two weeks ago against Green Bay.

Connolly now owns the record for the longest kickoff return by an offensive lineman in NFL history, which apparently is enough to earn your own display in the team’s Hall of Fame despite the fact the play occurred during an otherwise meaningless regular-season game. You can only imagine what they would’ve done had Connolly actually scored on the play.

The Patriots used to reserve their narcissistic chest-thumping for moments of importance, such as Adam Vinatieri’s game-tying field goal in the infamous “Snow Bowl” playoff game against the Raiders in 2001, which is immortalized with an impressive, interactive display in which fans can simulate Vinatieri’s heroics.

Apparently, not winning a Super Bowl in six years leaves a lot of free time for thumbing through record books and twisting numbers into some sort of milestone that only seems important if you don’t read the fine print. Among other mind-numbing landmarks, the Patriots have taken pride in the fact Brady hasn’t lost a regular-season start at Gillette Stadium since 2006, which is utterly meaningless when you consider he and the Patriots got their teeth smashed in by the Ravens in their own backyard last year in the playoffs.

Since when do the Patriots gloat over regular-season accomplishments? Since 2007, when they hung a banner at Gillette commemorating their 16-0 season – a season capped by a loss to the Giants in the Super Bowl.

Chances are the Patriots will have something legitimate to celebrate in a couple of months, because it doesn’t appear there’s anyone in the league capable of knocking them off their throne. Once you sift through the nonsense the Patriots ram down our throats each week – hey, did you know Brady is 34-4 when the temperature drops below 40 degrees? – it’s easy to see why this team has been so unstoppable since losing to Cleveland on Nov. 7.

The only factoid that really matters is New England’s turnover differential, which is a remarkable +27. The franchise record is +17, set in 2003 when the Patriots finished 14-2 and won their second Super Bowl in three years. Aside from point differential, which is typically all that matters, turnover differential is arguably the most telling statistic when ranking NFL teams.

The top five teams in the AFC in turnover differential are New England, Pittsburgh, Kansas City, Baltimore and the New York Jets. All five have positive turnover differentials and have already clinched playoff berths. The top six in the NFC are Philadelphia, Atlanta, Green Bay, Tampa Bay, Detroit and St. Louis. The Eagles and Falcons are playoff-bound – so are the Chicago Bears, who rank as the seventh and final team in the conference with a positive turnover differential. The Rams are in if they win next week, while the Packers and Buccaneers both have winning records. The only exception is Detroit.

While it’s not an exact science, it’s safe to say you stand a great chance of winning if you force turnovers and take care of the ball on your end. The key to New England’s success in that category is Brady, who now owns the NFL’s single-season record with 319 consecutive pass attempts without an interception. This is one of the few records the Patriots promote that is actually worth bragging about, even if it’s sometimes equal parts luck and skill.

The Patriots’ remarkable ability to play mistake-free football is the reason they’re the most dominant team in the NFL, and it’s the reason they’ll likely win another Super Bowl this year unless somebody else in this league proves they can make it through four quarters without shooting themselves in the foot (no Rex Ryan jokes, please). At least that’s worth celebrating.