Favre + Halloween = raunchy, family fun!
Friday, October 29, 2010
With the Minnesota Vikings coming to town on Halloween, the possibilities for debauchery are endless. The reason Favre’s genitalia – not his stature as the NFL’s all-time leading passer – made its way into the lede this morning is because Favre’s life has devolved into a horribly-written soap opera stuck on a constant loop.
Whether he’s in the news for transmitting his pecker through cyberspace or “retiring” for the hundredth time in three years, Favre’s personal follies have turned him into a caricature of himself, which has regrettably overshadowed the fact we might witness history this weekend.
Favre has a stress fracture in his left ankle and might not play Sunday, which would end his NFL-record streak of 291 consecutive starts, yet we still can’t keep our minds off his junk. The league’s all-time winningest quarterback is dealing with the pain and personal failure of Minnesota’s 2-4 start amidst allegations that he sent lewd text messages to a former Jets’ employee during his time with New York in 2008. Correction – Favre’s accused of “sexting,” which has replaced raiding dad’s “Hustler” stash as the No. 1 masturbatory aid among teenage boys.
Even with Moss as his new sidekick, Favre can’t shake the embarrassment of watching his image crumble like stale cornbread, though he should be used to it by now. Not too long ago, before the crotch shots and empty promises, Favre was a generally likeable player. He was lauded as a hero for throwing four touchdowns against the Raiders in the aftermath of his father’s death in 2003, and he became a sympathetic figure shortly after that when his wife, Deanna, was diagnosed with breast cancer, which occurred several months following her brother’s death in a freak accident. A year later, Hurricane Katrina destroyed his family’s home.
Up until that point, the only blemish on his record was the questionable sack he took from Michael Strahan in 2001, which allowed Strahan to break the all-time single-season record. At the time, Favre was accused of taking a dive so Strahan could reach the milestone.
Looking back on it, Favre probably wishes that was the only “sack” people would discuss when his name comes up, but thanks to Jenn Sterger, we’re fixated on a far less palatable version. For the record, I’m with Favre on this one. I wish this nonsense would go away, too, because Sunday could turn out to be a fantastic shootout on a number of levels (and, yes, I realize the irony of continuously referencing Favre’s package while pleading for the masses to stop this charade of childishness).
Despite all his flaws on the field, Favre is still as dangerous as any quarterback in the NFL, albeit sometimes more dangerous to his own team’s cause than the opponent. Last week in Green Bay, Favre came within inches (no pun intended!) of a dramatic, come-from-behind victory when he fired what appeared to be the game-winning touchdown pass to Percy Harvin in the closing seconds, but the replay official correctly ruled that one of Harvin’s feet was out of bounds. Green Bay held on for the 28-24 win.
The scary part is Favre nearly snatched victory from the jaws of defeat against a pass defense ranked significantly higher than New England’s. The Packers’ 14th-ranked defense isn’t great by any stretch, but almost anything beats being 30th in the NFL, which is where the Patriots sit despite their 5-1 record.
All signs point to Favre starting his 292nd consecutive game Sunday. He walked around Minnesota’s practice facility Thursday without a protective boot on his foot and said, “I wouldn’t put anything past me,” when asked if he’d play, which – even if it wasn’t intentional – comes off smarmy as hell, as if Favre has no problem telling us how he is in absolute awe of himself for his ability to play through pain.
I hope he’s on the field for several reasons, mainly because I want to see who wins the battle between an erratic, mistake-prone quarterback and a horrible secondary, but also because I’m interested in just how creative New England fans can be.
The sky’s the limit for raunchy Halloween costumes – or, perhaps Gillette Stadium security will determine exactly what the limit will be Sunday. Either way, don’t be surprised if the largest purple helmet you see is in the stands instead of on the field. Pun intended.
Happy Halloween!
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