Latest incident should be final nail in Moss’ coffin

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Mike Parente, GoLocalProv Sports Editor

Before I get into what an unrefined, boorish imbecile Randy Moss truly is, I’d first like to point out the delicious irony in the Vikings hiring a restaurant specializing in funeral catering to supply their post-practice spread since their season didn’t technically die until two days after Friday’s now-infamous luncheon.

As for Moss’ unwarranted tirade aimed at Tinucci’s owner Gus Tinucci, let’s just say I hope Michael Silver’s story on Yahoo! Sports is 100-percent factually correct, because this could go down as the most unintentionally-hilarious tale of NFL jackassery since Chris Hanson nearly chopped off his foot with an axe in the Jaguars’ locker room.

According to Silver, Moss began nailing his coffin shut Friday when he dropped a series of F-bombs at a post-practice buffet catered by Tinucci’s – a small, mom-and-pop deli in Minneapolis – because he didn’t approve of the menu selection. As he paced up and down the locker room, Moss screamed, “I wouldn’t feed this [expletive] to my [expletive] dog!” indicating his pets more than likely eat better than most humans since the spread featured ribs, chicken, pasta, desserts and a roast beef carving station.

While it’s highly unlikely this incident alone precipitated Moss’ subsequent departure from Minnesota (dogging his team’s play-calling while simultaneously praising Bill Belichick following Sunday’s loss to the Patriots didn’t help either), it probably told Vikings head coach Brad Childress all he needed to know about the selfish blockhead he welcomed into his locker room four weeks ago.

Forget for a second what we already know about most professional athletes – how they live in their own bubble nurtured from years of being pampered by everyone from their parents to their high-school coaches because of their ability to shoot a basketball, throw a football or hit a baseball. Ask yourself this: What kind of person in his mid-30s behaves like this? Better yet, what kind of person – regardless of age – behaves like this and considers it perfectly acceptable? And who the hell has the stones to bitch about free food?

There’s no doubt Moss was born with an incredible, God-given gift to outrun his peers and catch anything thrown in his direction, but it’s also become increasingly obvious he was never taught right from wrong. If this recent bout of childishness weren’t so doggone funny, it’d be disgusting.

The sad part is Moss will never change because someone will inevitably be dumb enough to either claim him off waivers or sign him to a free-agent contract by the end of the week. Moss acts like this because he can – because no matter how poorly he treats those he feels are beneath him, someone will always give him a fourth, fifth or sixth chance based on the potential talent he brings to the table.

At the risk of sounding jaded, this is the pathetic reality of sports at every level, and it starts as early as the childhood years. We put 12-year-olds on national television for playing Little League baseball, so we shouldn’t be surprised if they develop a sense of entitlement and become social misfits by the time they reach high school. Twenty-three touchdowns earns you a lifetime of diplomatic immunity in the NFL. Potheads become World Series heroes.

The NFL has tried for years to set Moss straight, but no amount of fine has been enough to deter him from acting like a dunce the majority of his career. While nothing he’s done on or off the field warrants a lifetime ban, no team is under any obligation to pay him for his services. What Moss needs is to be blackballed by the NFL. Owners need to come together and send the message that if you continue to burn every bridge, you soon won’t have any ground to stand on.

You and I both know that’ll never happen. In fact, I won’t be shocked if the Raiders commit the ultimate atrocity of claiming this numskull off waivers. And if it’s not Oakland, it’ll be somebody else. St. Louis, Seattle – someone will eventually bite the bullet.

What really irks me is that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has done absolutely nothing about Moss’ continuous lack of decorum. Ben Roethlisberger got bagged for four games based off accusations stemming from an incident in which he was never formally charged – a decision I agreed with 100 percent. Doesn’t verbally berating a caterer for no reason whatsoever fall under Goodell’s “personal conduct policy?”

Goodell has all the evidence he needs. Silver broke the story, and Tinucci reiterated everything Moss said word-for-word. Now go investigate. Call Moss’ teammates into your office to get both sides of the story. Just do something.

Moss has even gone as far as to ask fans on his Website where they’d like to see him play next, as if it’s somehow his choice. He actually has to clear waivers first, though there’s a pretty good chance that’ll happen since he’d probably have to settle for less than the $3.9 million from the waiver claim if he hits the free-agent market.

The Randy Moss saga will unfold like a rerun we’ve already seen a thousand times. He’ll wear out his welcome wherever he goes and ultimately tear that team apart from within. Nothing will change until he actually suffers a single consequence from his oafish behavior. Let’s see if the league takes a stand this time. Let’s see if the NFL has the marbles to send this buffoon to the back of the buffet line where he belongs.