October is here, and I’m full of cheer!
Friday, October 15, 2010
We’ve reached the Final 4 of Major League Baseball’s postseason, and I’m thankful for a number of reasons, mainly because the New York Yankees are still alive, but also because Bobby Cox and the Atlanta Braves are not.
Since Cox had announced he would retire at the end of the season, I knew as soon as the Braves were finished we’d have to sit through 10 ½ hours of ball-washing courtesy of ESPN, which celebrated Cox as if he were the second coming of Casey Stengel.
Cox is glorified for the fact he managed 25 seasons in Atlanta and led the Braves to the playoffs 15 times, which makes for a great-looking resume if you conveniently ignore the fact he only has one World Series title to show for it. That’s like bringing home the hottest girl at your sophomore prom and only getting a hand up her shirt. Close the deal, or step aside. Thankfully, Cox has decided to relocate to Del Boca Vista, spend time with his grandkids, or do whatever it is old managers do when they realize they’re way past their prime.
Maybe I’m not seeing the whole field here, but I thought the idea was to win world titles, not just get there and soil your trousers halfway through the journey. During Atlanta’s heyday in the mid- to late-‘90s, Cox had four of baseball’s best pitchers in their respective primes – Tom Glavine, John Smoltz, Steve Avery and Greg Maddux. They combined to win five Cy Young awards over a six-year stretch, and yet the Braves still took home just one world title. Even mediocre managers have better luck (see: Cito Gaston).
To me, Cox will always be the Wade Phillips of Major League Baseball, minus the lack of accountability and oafish demeanor. We’re talking about a guy who racked up more than twice as many ejections (he’s the sport’s all-time leader with 158) as playoff wins (62). Obviously, postseason baseball provides a small sample size with which to evaluate players and managers, but in Cox’s case he managed more than enough playoff games to have that record held in higher regard than his regular-season record.
Vince Lombardi, who coined the phrase, “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing,” would vomit in his coffin if he saw all the attention Cox got this past week, but enough about this overrated hothead. Let’s focus on the teams that are actually still playing.
Starting tonight, we’ve got the Texas Rangers hosting the defending world champion New York Yankees in Game 1 of the American League Championship Series. The Yankees won five more games than Texas during the regular season, but their inability to win their division – coupled with Joe Girardi’s Neanderthal managing down the stretch – forced them to settle for the Wild Card, which means they’ll have to play a winner-take-all seventh game in Arlington if the series lasts that long.
Before you get started, yes, I realize Tampa Bay lost despite having home-field advantage in its series against Texas – the same home-field advantage I begged the Yankees to grab hold of down the stretch – and, yes, I realize bitching about this for three and a half weeks seems trivial in retrospect, but facing the Rangers is a frightening prospect for the Yankees, especially if they have to stare down Cliff Lee in a seventh game.
Having to play five games against the Rays forced Texas to burn its ace in the series’ finale, which means Lee can’t pitch in the ALCS until Game 3. This helps the Yankees, who might need to steal both Games 1 and 2 in Texas in order to win this series. Even though Games 3, 4 and 5 are in the Bronx, A.J. Burnett is slated to pitch at least once, so you might as well chalk that one up as an embarrassing loss and pray Phil Hughes and Andy Pettitte are up to the task in each of their respective starts. Being the road dog hasn’t caught up to them yet, but it could bite them in the ass if this series heads back to Texas next week.
The Yankees used to pound the Rangers back in the late ‘90s, particularly in the postseason, but those days are long gone, and Texas is a much, much different team than it was back then. These aren’t your father’s Rangers; these Rangers can pitch and they can play small-ball, too, which means they’re not as reliant on the home run as they were in the past.
The National League Championship Series is equally interesting if you can get past the nauseating hyperbole surrounding the Game 1 matchup Saturday between San Francisco’s Tim Lincecum and Phillies’ ace Roy Halladay. While this figures to be a tremendous pitching duel, it’s not the greatest postseason matchup of all-time, as some overzealous jackasses have incorrectly noted. Last year, Lee – then with Philadelphia – squared off against Yankees’ ace C.C. Sabathia in Game 1 of the World Series. That was a better matchup than this one. So was Boston’s Pedro Martinez against Roger Clemens of the Yankees in the 2003 ALCS – twice.
You could probably go back even further to find better matchups, but that’s not really the point. In a series that features Halladay, Lincecum, Roy Oswalt, Cole Hamels, Matt Cain and Jonathan Sanchez, this could be one of the lowest-scoring LCS’ of all-time.
Seven games would be great, as long as Giants’ closer Brian Wilson coughs up a lead at least once. Excuse my narcissism, but I’m tired of these gimmicky closers who either grow a beard, shave something foolish into the side of their heads or develop an ugly facial tick in order to pass themselves off as an intimidating presence on the mound. First, it was Jonathan Papelbon with his puckered lips. Now, we’ve got Wilson with his Mohawk and filthy chin strap, which looks like something a pedophile would grow during a lengthy prison sentence. Enough. Being a closer is a not a carnival act, and as far as I’m concerned Wilson is nothing more than a clever marketing tool (with a strong emphasis on “tool”) until he saves a game of importance.
That, in a nutshell, qualifies as my version of playoff “analysis,” but don’t ask me for any predictions. I’m about as accurate as a drunken frat boy at a urinal. Just be happy it's October.
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