Children and the Holidays: Managing Expectations

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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

GoLocalProv Lifestyle Editor Andrea E. McHugh

While staying busy making their wish lists and talking about the hottest new toys at school, it’s not uncommon for children to get wrapped up in the commercial focus of the holidays. But for many young ones and their families living in Rhode Island, where we continue to remain one of the states with the highest unemployment, celebrating the holidays during these tough economic times can be difficult.

Identifying the Signs

“Generally, kids do worry about their families when there are economic issues,” said Angela Stewart, a child psychologist with Bradley Hospital. Signs of stress, she said, may include significant weight loss or gain, changes in energy level, a noticeable change in sleep, whether it’s sleeping more or sleeping less, and overall changes in behavior or mood. Parents can approach children who seem preoccupied about the future of the family by opening the lines of communication with open and honest conversations, she advised, and hearing their concerns may encourage a family to seek counseling.

Building Confidence Through Kindness

Children who don’t get what they are hoping for on their gift lists are bound to experience disappointment, but, said Stewart, parents play a key role teaching kids how to handle that disappointment as exhibited in their own behavior. “When we’re not getting what we want, and we accept the situation calmly and patiently, we’re teaching our kids every day through our example how to manage disappointments,” she said. The holiday season is also an opportunity to teach kids about the importance of giving, rather than receiving, during the holiday season. “The reason we want to encourage kids to give is because it will bring them joy and build their self-esteem,” said Stewart, “and it teaches them that happiness comes from giving purely, without expecting anything in return.” The transformation comes from the inside out for children, she said, building their sense of self-worth.
 

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