17 Tricks for Starting Holiday Table Conversation

Email to a friend Permalink

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Didi Lorillard, GoLocalProv Manners and Etiquette Expert

There are those of us who think that we are shy because we are afraid of getting lost while trying to make conversation and don't feel we are etiquette savvy. Get over yourself. Shyness is narcissistic. Read up. Be prepared. Know what's going on in the world, in your world, in your community, and within your circle of friends. Whether you make watching the evening news part of your daily routine or reading golocalprov.com every morning, stay tuned to what's going on around you. Be prepared to ask questions, have questions you can roll off during a lull during a conversation.

Here are 17 of the best questions to get a party conversation started:

What intentions have you made for 2011?
We all have that inexpensive token gift, what's yours this year?
What are you doing New Years Eve?
What fantasy gift would you love to receive?
Are you going away this winter?
Where are going?
What do you do with your kids when they're on vacation?
How did you meet your wife (husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, date)?
What's your favorite local (meaning every night hangout bar)?
What's your favorite restaurant?
What movie that you've seen recently would you recommend?
How do you entertain your kids when the wife/husband wants to go to the gym or shopping?
What teams do you follow?
What about that game Sunday?
What's your fav Web site, sit com, TV show?
What's your fav take out?
Do you have a good tech-geek who can help me with my computer?

Step two: Once you've got the person talking about himself, you can chime in and connect on whatever level you both are on.

When you want to move on: Remember that a good dinner partner talks equally to both persons on either side of him at a seated dinner.

At stand-up events, you can always call someone over to embellish the conversation, if you're flat, or you can say, "I need to refresh, let's make our way to the bar." Gently, you are ditching him, you are moving on your way to the bar. At the bar, you can introduce him or her to people you know, as well as to people you don't know. If you truly want to ditch him, just say, "I need to thank our host," and move out. That way you leave him thinking that you've got manners and class.

Didi Lorillard is a born and bred Newporter. While living in New York City for many years, she published two books, Guide New York, New York: A Counter Chic to Manhattan and Buy the Best. After raising two daughters, she moved back to Newport with her husband, the historian and author, Robert Cowley. For more inspiration and guidance on etiquette and modern manners, visit her Web site, here.

Enjoy this post? Share it with others.

Email to a friend Permalink