Good is Good: Men, Faith and Goodness

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Tom Matlack, GoLocalProv Contributor

Tom Matlack is the former CFO of the Providence Journal and is the founder of The Good Men Project, a non-profit charitable corporation dedicated to helping organizations that provide educational, social, financial, and legal support to men and boys at risk.

How are goodness and faith connected?

Two experiences with faith stand out in my memory, one involving human faith and the other with the Divine.

In college, I rowed eight-person boats—poorly—for most of my career. My senior year, Will Scoggins, a Shunryu Suzuki–quoting, tobacco-chewing wolfman messiah, took over as our coach. Our physical training was tough, but he always reminded us that nothing mattered more than our faith in our teammates.

Our first race was against Coast Guard, a crew we had never beaten. In a crew race, you can’t see where the other team is when you are behind. You face the stern as you row, so your opponent might be a few feet or a few miles ahead. Not knowing means it’s easy to give up. We always had.

The race doesn't begin until the half-way point

Scoggins told us the race didn’t begin until the halfway point—1,000 meters. When we got there, we were already a length down. Then something miraculous happened: all eight men started pulling harder. Propelled by a single purpose, our boat jumped out of the water. We passed Coast Guard with a couple hundred meters to go. We ended up winning with open water between our stern and their bow.

Faith in ourselves had made us unbeatable that day—and the days that followed. We were undefeated the rest of the year.

♦◊♦

A decade later I found myself lower than I’d ever been. My personal life was a mess. I had two babies, but I was only allowed to have at my house once a week. I was worried for them and for myself.

Morning and night I would kneel at my bedside, my head in my hands, pleading with God. During the day when I found myself overcome with pain, I would seek out a bathroom stall to pray. My knees on the linoleum floor, my face in my hands, I talked to God as though he was the love of my life and my long-lost friend.

In those days, talking to God brought me the only solace I could find. I have no idea if my daily petitions were heard, but the crisis passed. I learned how to father my babies; they grew into happy kids. Joy slowly returned to my life.

For more of Tom's works, as well as other pieces on related topics, go to The Good Men Project Magazine online, here.