Monfredo: New School Year - Let’s Prevent Bullying from Taking Place

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Sunday, September 22, 2019

John Monfredo, GoLocalWorcester MINDSETTER

As the students enter their first month of school many are excited and nervous about the new school year. Hopefully, you may have read my column last week on kindness and its importance in our schools and the need to have programs focused on kindness and the reason – to prevent bullying. So this week the topic switches to a nationwide problem – bullying.

As parents take the time to reflect and look at the positive with your child about how they’ve grown since last year and the importance of getting off to a great start at school.  Be sure to also ask them if they have any concerns and talk about what issues they do have.

Many schools have used this month to bring parents into the schools to talk about the school year and some have brought in speakers prior to seeing their child’s teacher to discuss the issue of bullying. Just this week Flagg Street School, through District Attorney Joseph

Early, Jr. office had Eileen Kneeland, Community Outreach Coordinator, come in to speak to the parents about bullying and gave out literature for parents to read on this topic.

According to research, over 160,000 students skip school every day for fear of being bullied.  The key is recognizing that this is a problem and work on creating a school climate less susceptible to harassment, bullying, and violence.  Thus, since the inception of the anti-bullying law in Massachusetts, the Worcester Public Schools, in partnership with many organizations, has been pro-active.

According to Robert Pezzella, safety director for the Worcester Public Schools, the state law is a good one but schools still need to teach our students that bullying is NOT going to be accepted and that there are consequences for their actions.  Schools need to encourage those students who are being bullied to speak up and to report it to school authorities. Thus, many schools will invite speakers to discuss this situation and give advice to parents.

Many booklets on this topic through District Attorney’s Early’s office try to give parents valuable information on how to help stop bullying through prevention. Much of the literature points out the harmful effects of bullying and how bullying can cause lasting harm.

Everyone needs to know that there are different types of bullying… physical attacks, verbal attacks, emotional bullying (such as excluding someone from group activities) and cyberbullying such as using the internet or cell phone to threaten, harass or embarrass another individual.

Bullying is everyone’s problem and it can happen at every grade level and the fear of it can make it hard for many children to focus on learning.  Many experts suggest that one stress respect and discuss the importance of treating others how you’d like to be treated.  One needs to solve conflicts peacefully and not make fun of differences. Parents need to make it clear that bullying violates your rules and values and in addition, both parent and child need to review the school policies together.

Here are some tips to parents and other adults in discussing bullying with children.

• Prepare your child…Discuss how to respond to bullying, for example … avoid trouble and stick with your friends… use humor or do something friendly to defuse the situation … ignore the person, for example, walk away or don’t respond to an online message ( but save it!)… Get a teacher or another adult to help if the situation is dangerous or if it is troubling you.
• Teach assertiveness – help your child practice expressing his or her opinions in a firm, yet respectful way… example – if someone cuts in line, your child could say firmly “Excuse me – I was next.”  Being assertive earns more respect than being passive.
• Build Social Skills – Poor social skills, low self-esteem, and few friends can put a child at risk for being bullied or for bullying others… Help your child learn how to make friends… introduce yourself, ask questions and do nice things for them.  Encourage activities with other children who have similar interests.  Help your child know that he or she is worthwhile and has the right to be treated with respect.
• Discuss Responsibility – Bullying often happens in front of other children.  It thrives when bystanders do nothing.  Your child could – show disapproval and tell the bully to stop or at the very least he or she should not laugh or join in… get an adult to step in and report what happened.
• Teach your child to use technology safely – Talk to your child about what’s okay to do online and what’s not.  Keep computers, cell phones and other digital devices in common areas of your home where you can monitor their use.
• Teach nonviolence – teach that using violence to solve problems or deal with anger only makes things worse for everyone.
• Encourage healthy relationships – get to know your child’s friends. Encourage your child to get involved with school activities.  This is a good way to make new friends who share the same interests… there are more ideas but let’s start with these and if you need additional ideas contact the Worcester Public Schools Safety Director Robert Pezzella.

 

In Worcester, the school district takes this issue very seriously for the district continually updates its bullying plan. Let’s also remember that any program on bullying is only a beginning for we can’t have any “end date” on bullying prevention activities.   

Please remember that bullying is not just a problem in poor schools, nor is it confined to a particular ethnic group; it’s universal.  As difficult and widespread a problem as bullying is it is also a problem that can be solved. 

Research from across the nation shows that when schools take specific action and have supportive parents bullying can be eliminated.  Let’s work together as a community to stop this from happening this new school year!

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