Monfredo: Parents & Teachers Working Together on Teaching Kindness

Saturday, September 14, 2019

John Monfredo, GoLocalWorcester MINDSETTER

John Monfredo

“It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless…" L.H. Knost

Wouldn’t everyone feel better if kindness were spread throughout the community? It can start to happen if we can have our teachers and parents work together on this endeavor. The best way to start is for the schools to bring parents in on the project. Remember parents are a child’s first and most important teachers and need to be part of the learning process. Parents certainly know a great deal about their child and on the school side both can work on the importance of social development. Working together on this project can bring about positive change.

I recently came across the website… weteachkindness.org/challenge and filed an agenda item at the School Committee level for administration to share the idea with the schools. However, for it to work effectively we need parents to be on board. This program is open to schools with any combination of grades K-8. Teach Kindness offers best-in-class activities and classroom lessons to teach and foster kindness over a four-week period of the school’s choosing. By teaching children how to practice kindness, be more empathetic, and manage their emotions and actions, they become better equipped to navigate our complex world — at school, at home, and online.

Whether you use this program or set up your own it’s worth starting off the school year with a positive beginning. Remember, kindness is a skill for it’s more than being nice. Like other skills, it can be and should be taught, reinforced and celebrated. As the website stated, “There’s no mystery to teaching, fostering and celebrating kindness. Teaching kindness has leading education organizations, distinguished teachers and researchers teamed up to provide the most effective research-based tools to help you improve school climate and reduce behavior that leads to suspensions.” I would encourage schools to look into this program and …it’s free.

Schools can also start a program on your own with the support of parents. Teachers can start the day by giving a student a genuine compliment. Then, during the day students can bestow a compliment to a fellow student. The teacher’s job would be to keep track of who is receiving your morning compliment so that everyone gets a chance to be part of the compliment chain. The key is that every classroom needs to be part of the program.

Then, at recess time, many children tend to play with the same schoolmates each day. Therefore, once a week encourage your students to play with at least two other children they haven’t yet played with or they can also sit down with someone new at lunchtime. It’s a great way to make new friends and make connections.

Does your school have a buddy bench? I know that many of the schools in Worcester did start a buddy bench program a few years back after I placed the item on the School Committee agenda. Students from Worcester State University as part of the Enactus program were a vital part of that project and worked with the carpentry department at Worcester Technical High School in the making of the benches. What is significant about the bench was the slogan, “A friend is only a seat a way”, which was cut out and stamped at the top of its backrest. The idea behind this concept was that the bench would become a tool to help bring students together and to have them included so if anyone ever felt alone or not included, they were encouraged to sit on the bench. This is another way of showing kindness at in the schools and perhaps another idea for schools that were not part of the program last year to consider adding this to their Kindness Program.

Schools can also encourage students to take pride in their surroundings by cleaning up the school area or having the students take part in cleaning up their neighborhood. Other ideas can be by creating a “Kindness Project” and parents certainly can be part of this by encouraging the children to do one kind act each day. Activities could be helping with the dishes, letting someone go first, holding the door for someone, taking a neighbors dog out for a walk, hugging someone to make them feel better, or visiting a grandparent and volunteer to do a special project.

Teachers and parents can encourage sharing of these kind acts each day whether it be before school or at recess time. The idea is to talk about kindness and encourage children to bring meaning to the actions taken. The thought is to foster an environment of kindness for once the children get into a habit of practicing kindness it will change the culture of the school.

In educating the whole student caring for others needs to be emphasized each and every day. I do hope that many will be willing to try it out for what every community needs are more acts of kindness.