We’re No. 2! Girardi, Yankees glorify mediocrity

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Mike Parente, GoLocalProv Sports Editor

Starting tomorrow, I’m marketing the world’s first set of oversized foam fingers – fingers, as in the index and middle, displayed proudly to show the whole world second place is A-OK because Major League Baseball says so.

Thanks to the Wild Card – the world’s worst invention since the Snuggie (seriously, idiots, it’s a friggin’ backwards robe) – New York Yankees manager Joe Girardi has decided to steer the S.S. Steinbrenner directly into Loserville.

With the luxury of having the Wild Card to fall back on, Girardi couldn’t care less if the Yankees win the American League East for the second year in a row, or if they back into the playoffs the cheap way as the A.L.’s best second-place team, an oxymoron considering you can’t possibly be the best at anything if you’re actually second best. Never mind the fact winning the division guarantees you home-field advantage for at least the first round of the playoffs – an important factor considering the Yankees are far superior in their own backyard. Girardi is just happy to be there.

Since the beginning of September, Girardi has taken turns resting players with life-threatening injuries such as bruised thumbs, and using veteran retreads and reclamation projects in high-leverage situations because he has his eyes on the “big picture,” which is winning the World Series. And if you dare question his decision to use mop-up man Sergio Mitre ahead of Mariano Rivera in extra innings at Tampa Bay with first place on the line, his most loyal bootlickers will immediately ask whether you’d rather run the team into the ground trying to win the A.L. East (and the home-field advantage that comes with it) or win the World Series with a healthy team, as if the two are somehow mutually exclusive. Or as if the simple act of giving 100 percent in an attempt to win baseball games in September is somehow adverse to long-term success in October.

Unbeknownst to Girardi, you can actually have it both ways, but what you can’t have is a second-place team that can’t win on the road waltzing into Minnesota’s Target Field for Games 1, 2 and 5 of the American League Division Series against the Twins. Since Major League Baseball decided to cheapen the value of the postseason by splitting each league into three divisions and adopting the Wild Card playoff berth in 1995, the Yankees have backed their way in twice with no success whatsoever.

They actually won the A.L.’s first Wild Card in ’95 and promptly checked out in the Division Series after losing all three road games in Seattle. Three years ago, they snuck in as the Wild Card and lost the Division Series in four games to Cleveland, thanks in large part to a Game 2 meltdown at Jacobs Field in which reliever Joba Chamberlain couldn’t swat an angry swarm of fruit flies out of his face. Had that game been played in New York instead of Cleveland, there would’ve been no infestation and perhaps the Yankees would’ve won. Maybe they would’ve won the pennant and the World Series, too. We’ll never know because they couldn’t be bothered to oust Boston for the division title.

Perhaps it’s only fitting the Yankees were eliminated early in both years they won the Wild Card because Wild Card teams don’t deserve to be in the playoffs in the first place. The Major League Baseball season lasts 162 games. That’s more than enough time to differentiate between the contenders and pretenders. Baseball was fine before it spread its legs and decided to let everyone have a turn. Instead of seeing the truly elite teams lock horns in October, we’re forced to watch frauds with 89 wins masquerading as World Series contenders.

If a tie is like kissing your sister, winning the Wild Card is like knocking up your cousin. Any team that wins a World Series as a Wild Card should have an asterisk next to its name to remind everyone it wasn’t good enough to win its own division, which is even more pathetic now than it was 15 years ago since the league has six divisions. And if the Yankees proudly “settle” for the Wild Card this season, which seems more and more likely following last night’s pathetic loss to the Red Sox, they should forfeit their playoff spot the way Notre Dame declined a bowl bid after finishing 6-6 in 1999.

Capturing the Wild Card is a noble achievement if you’re the Pittsburgh Pirates, who haven’t had a winning season in 18 years. For the New York Yankees, it’s an embarrassment, especially since they’ve led the division for most of the season. In this case, settling for the Wild Card would truly be “settling,” and it would guarantee the Yankees another early exit in October.

This team can’t win on the road. Their recent 3-6 road trip and overall 41-34 road record proves it. More than half of their regulars hit significantly worse on the road than they do at Yankee Stadium. Combine that with Girardi’s mind-numbing inability to manage a bullpen, and this postseason has “first-round elimination” written all over it.

The Yankees insist they’re still trying to win the A.L. East while looking out for the best interests of their banged-up veterans, which is a lie. Through actions, not words, Girardi has made it clear he doesn’t give a damn how the Yankees make it to the postseason as long as they get in. All of a sudden, the Yankees are operating as a small-market underdog, in which case Girardi should just manage one of those teams next year and spare us the embarrassment of K-Mart shopping for a playoff berth.

Wave those foam fingers in the air like you just don’t care. Girardi doesn’t, so why should we?