Holiday Office Party Dos and Don’ts

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Didi Lorillard, GoLocalProv Manners and Etiquette Expert

'Tis the season, as holiday parties swing into gear. Here's Newport manners and etiquette doyenne Didi Lorillard's guide to how to survive - and enjoy - the events to come.

First off, check to make sure that guests of guests are actually invited before inviting anyone to accompany you to your office holiday party, because it might not be open to spouses, partners, or random dates. You wouldn't want that awkward moment when you have to introduce your hot date--the only stranger in the room--to your project manager. The holiday office party will probably cost your company a flat fee per person. If the party is only for employees, they are not including your plus one in their headcount to the caterer. Many companies these days don't include non-employees because the cost can be prohibitive. Don't assume the invitation is for you and one other. Be sure to ask first.

Upon entering the party space, stop, look, and listen. Head to a small group of cheerful coworkers who look as though they've just had a good laugh, and not towards the group that is, more than likely, griping about the latest change in company policy.

Remember your host is your boss, without interrupting him, place yourself in a position where you can jump in and get face time. Even if you think he knows your name, never assume that he does. Stick out your hand and say,

"Andrew Jackson, mergers and acquisitions." He'll appreciate the fact that you've told him your first and last name, as well as your department. Also, it is always good to have something of interest to say to your boss, so that when he asks, "What's going on?" You can respond with a tidbit you think he might want to know.

Once you've thanked the boss for throwing the holiday bash, you can make your way to the bar. They say that it is important to have a glass of water for every alcoholic drink, but most people don't pay attention to that over the holidays. Just be careful that you don't end up on Facebook looking foolish.

Watch what you say: don't gossip about coworkers or complain about corporate policy.

Watch where you put your hands: draping your arm over a colleague's shoulder or putting your arm around someone's waist could be judged as inappropriate office behavior. On the other hand, letting someone put their arm around your waist or kiss you could well be perceived as a sign that you're looking for love in all the wrong places. Please, do not display physical affection to coworkers at holiday parties, even if you're caught under the mistletoe. Remember, that if you do let that mistletoe kiss linger, you will be asking for trouble--but you know that. Don't be a tease.

To that point, dress appropriately. Just because it is party time, it doesn't mean that you can show cleavage or chest hair. No matter what your friends say they are wearing, suit up. Dress professionally and not in a provocative fashion. Some of the most successful woman executives know how to come off as alluring and fun by being slightly mysterious by not showing the goods. Yes ladies, wear your best business suit to work that day, but for the office party change into those beautiful high heels you bought to go clubbing. Let your hair down and reapply the lip gloss. Men, brush your teeth and wear a jacket and tie.

Remember, more and more, bosses are gauging social skills on how their employees behave during face-to-face conversations in social situations. An employee who writes incredibly articulate briefs and memos, may become tongue tied during a face-to-face conversation that is chasing a new deal over lunch. Employers want to know which employees will represent them best to clients; which is why office parties are a good test of who can hold their liquor, as well as keep up their end of the conversation.