Monfredo: Let’s Be Aware of Cyber Bullying in the New School Year

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Sunday, September 06, 2015

As the children settle into their back to school routines let’s hope that the New Year brings much happiness to them. School isn’t just a place of learning for it’s also a social setting where the students learn how to get along with one another and learn to make friends.

Let’s hope that during this school year cyber bullying will not be part of the children’s experience with school for cyber bullying is a most hurtful act. According to a study by the nonprofit Education Development Center, the percentage of students who said that they experienced cyber bulling jumped from 14.6 percent to 21.2 percent over a six year period ending in 2012. The percentage of girls reporting cyber bullying was up 10 percent and boys three percent.

In 2010, our state passed a law that some say was the nation’s toughest ant bullying statues. It mandated ant bullying training for staff and students and required every school employee to report cases of bullying. Also, preventing cyber bullying, defined as bullying through the use of technology or any electronic communication was included as part of the law.

The Worcester Public Schools does recognize the significance of this law and has been providing effective instruction including classroom approaches and whole school initiatives with focused strategies for bullying prevention and social skills development. What I like about this plan and one that I have been a strong advocate for is its prevention piece for we need to do all that we can to prevent bullying through education.

Due to the significance of cyber bullying, Rob Pezzela, Worcester Public School Safety Liaison, stated that we all need to advocate for more in-school cyber bullying presentations. Assemblies can be appropriate forums for education sessions. He continues to work closely with the District Attorney’s Office in addressing this issue. Workshops through the D.A.’s are in the schools regularly to educate students about the dangers of cyber bullying.

Still, even with this law on the books, cyber bullying continues to take place in all schools … public and private. At the press of a button, a message or image could be sent off and forgotten. Once the person hits send, there’s no way to control it. Instant messages follow the children home after school and the student falls under a constant barrage of inescapable harassment.

In order for children to learn and thrive in school they need to feel safe both psychologically and physically. This cannot happen when they are subjected to constant bullying. In the past, bullying has been a fact of life for children were told by adults to accept and toughen up for it’s part of growing up. It was the wrong message for bullying often leads to promoting violence. Not only does it harm its intended victims, but it also negatively affects the climate of the school and the opportunities for all students to learn and achieve in school.

Studies continue to show that children/tweens/teens who were exposed to cyber bullying felt sad, had anxiety, depression or other serious mental health problem, including anger, shame, fear, frustration and low self esteem.

According to research (and there are lots out there on cyber bullying) parents should consider the following information:

• Take action if a child is being bullied online:
• Watch out for signs that a child is being bullied online such as a reluctance to use the computer or go to school as this may be an indication
• Report online bullying to your internet or cell phone service provider. Most companies have Acceptable Use Policies (AUPs) that clearly define privileges and guidelines for those using their services, and the actions that can be taken if those guidelines are violated. They should be able to respond to reports of cyber bulling over their networks or help you track down the appropriate service provider to respond to.
• Report incidents of online harassment and physical threats to your local police. Some forms of online bullying are considered criminal acts.
• .We also need to teach our children how to react to an online bully:
• STOP: leave the area or stop the activity (i.e. chat room, online game, instant messaging, or social networking, etc.)
• Block the sender’s messages. Never reply to harassing messages.
• Talk to an adult. If the bullying includes physical threats, tell the police as well.
• Save any harassing messages and forward them to your internet Service Provider (i.e. Hotmail or Gmail).

 

Parents can also do the following:

• 1. Keep the computer in a common area of the home. Do not allow it in your children's bedrooms. Monitor their online usage.
• 2. Learn how various social networking websites work. Become familiar with Face book, MySpace, and Twitter. Ask your children if they will show you their profile pages.
• 3. Talk regularly and specifically with your children about online issues. Let them know they can come to you for help if anything is inappropriate, upsetting, or dangerous.
• 4. Build trust with your children. Set time limits on computer use/cell phone use explain your reasons for them, and discuss rules for online safety and Internet use. Ask your children to contribute to establishing the rules; then they'll be more inclined to follow them.
• 5. Tell your children not to respond to any cyber bullying threats or comments online. However, tell them not to delete any of the messages. Instead, print out all the messages, including the e-mail addresses or online screen names of the cyber bully. You will need the messages to verify and prove there is cyber bullying.
• 6. Don't overreact by blaming your children. If they are being bullied, be supportive and understanding. Find out how long the bullying has been going on and ensure that you'll work together to find a solution. Let your children know they are not to blame for being bullied.
• 7. Don't under react by telling your children to "shrug it off" or just deal with the bullying. The emotional pain of being bullied is very real and can have long-lasting effects. Don't tease them about it or respond with a "kids will be kids" attitude.
• 8. Don't threaten to take away your children's computers if they come to you with a problem. This only forces kids to be more secretive.
• 9. Talk to your school's guidance counselors so they can keep an eye out for bullying during the school day.
• 10. If there are threats of physical violence or the bullying continues to escalate, get law enforcement involved.

One final thought on this subject according to researchers… tell your child:

Never share your e-mail password, a photo, or any personal data (such as a physical description, phone number, or address). A bully could use that information to harass you in many ways. • Never share too many personal details. For example, if you keep an online diary, someone could use that sensitive information to bully or ridicule you. • Never share your IM account password with anyone, even your best friend. That friend may share it with other people, or the friendship may end — and your private messages could suddenly become very public. A cyber bully with your password can sign on, pretend to be you, and behave inappropriately with others to embarrass and humiliate you. Remind your children frequently about these rules.

Continue to work on keeping your child safe and above all pay attention on what’s happening in your home.

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