Fit for Life: Promises. Make Em and Keep Em

Saturday, May 25, 2019

Matt Espeut, GoLocalWorcester Health +Lifestyle Contributor

I called my friend / coach / mentor Tuesday night to see how he was holding up after attending a funeral this past weekend for a friend that died unexpectedly, to try and cheer him up a bit.

He was telling me that the guy was his age (early 60’s) and a longtime friend that slowly let himself go and get a bit out of shape.

The guy was walking with his wife on Mother’s Day, trying to get started on a program again, and suddenly dropped dead.

Just like that. Gone!!

He continued to tell me that he and the same guy were at another friends funeral a while back, and people were singing at this particular funeral, so his buddy turned to him and said “When either of us goes, we have to promise to sing at the other ones funeral.

So, they agreed, shook on it and moved on.

Fast forward to last weekend and now it was time for my friend to fulfill the promise.

He and the deceased were the only two that knew of this promise, so if he reneged on the deal nobody would know.

Except him.

He told me that he never sang before and couldn’t carry a tune if it was placed in a box and had a handle on it.

He also had to sing a cappella, without background music, making matters even more difficult.

So, what did he do?

He was way out of his comfort zone, however, being the honorable guy that he is, got up and did it anyway.

He decided on a tune that another member of our mastermind group wrote and performed, so he was familiar with the verses and was able to pull it off.

After our conversation, he seemed in good spirits.

We laughed a bit, talked about a few different scenarios, both business and personal, said goodnight and hung up the phone.

Then I started thinking.

I thought deep and took away a few lessons from our conversation.

Here is what I learned.

When we make promises to others, we are more likely to keep them, than when we make promises to ourselves.

Perfect example is what my friend did.

I know that if I promised someone to sing at their funeral, and didn’t follow through, I would have a tough time living with myself.

I believe many of you reading this would too.

Yet, I see people that promise themselves to stick to a health and fitness routine to better themselves for 6 weeks and fall off.

I see and hear many people make New Year Resolutions, yet never follow through.

Folks promise to stop or start something, do it for a few days or weeks, then stop.

This is something I can’t understand or comprehend.

Do we not take ourselves seriously? Because when we don’t take it seriously, we cut corners and give mediocre effort.

Do we not matter? Are we not important enough to ourselves?

Do we think we aren’t worth it?

I have a habit of making promises to myself, writing them down, then telling someone else to hold me accountable, and it works better than keeping them to myself.

I also realized after our conversation that fulfilling promises makes us feel good.

He felt good coming through for his friend because he paid tribute and backed up his words.

When I promise my nephew, I will pick him up, I’m there, and it feels good knowing you came through for someone that was counting on you.

Those are promises to others that feel good, however keeping promises to yourself feels good too.

My girlfriend graduated with a master’s degree last weekend, and I was dying to have a celebratory drink, and eat a hunk of warm French bread slathered with butter, but I didn’t.

I promised myself that I would be ultra-strict on my Paleo meal plan for 6 weeks, and being a coach on discipline and not making excuses, I felt the need to fulfill my promise.

Although it was a struggle at the time, I feel a higher sense of self integrity today that I kept my promise, and it feels great.

Nobody would have known I cheated except the 3 people I was with and myself, however I would know in my heart that I failed and would have regretted falling off.

That was enough for me to dig deep into the discipline tank and follow through.

I have a group of people to lead, and I tell people to fight urges, and exercise that discipline muscle every day.

I am no exception to the rule.

So, if I lie to myself, I would consider myself an imposter and hypocrite that can’t walk the talk.

I always say that the pain of discipline is far less than the pain of regret. And I am 100% right on that one.

Yes, I have a few vices, and am not perfect all the time, however when it comes to discipline and health, I need to practice what I preach a majority of the time, and lead by example.

Another lesson I fabricated from our conversation is that whenever we step out of our comfort zone, it generates rapid growth.

Think about that.

We have a tendency to do the things that we like to do (eat bad food), and are comfortable with, over the things we know we need to do, that require more discipline and focus, like stop eating crap that halts our progress.

The sad part is that our routines won’t help us grow, personally or financially, and it isn’t until we step out of our comfort zones, man up, and do the things that are REQUIRED, will we move up to the next level and accomplish our lifelong goals.

Look at the local box gym and you will see more people lumbering on a treadmill or sitting on their asses on some machine, than in a squat rack or on a deadlift platform.

Why? Because no-one wants to do the hard stuff.

That’s why you don’t have a choice at Providence Fit Body Boot Camp. We make everyone do all the difficult stuff every day, and that produces results!!

The same goes for your financial growth.

Going to work and punching a time clock every day in a no risk job will keep you employed, but the chances of greater wealth are unlikely.

However, if you take your life savings and invest in a real estate or business venture, and go all in, you will have a better chance of compounding your net worth.

Yikes, that sounds scary, and it is, but being uncomfortable and scared is what it takes to flourish and grow.

So, to reiterate the lessons learned from our conversation:

1. The next time you make a promise, do your best to keep it whether it’s to yourself or to somebody else. You will have a greater felling of self-integrity and satisfaction when you do.

2. Make a habit of stepping out of your comfort zone and doing the difficult things that make you uncomfortable. You will be amazed at how fast you will see measurable growth.

Committed to your success,

Matt Espeut, GoLocal's Health & Lifestyle Contributor has been a personal trainer and health & fitnesss consultant for over 25 years. He is the owner of Fitness Profiles, a one on one, and small group personal training company, as well as Providence Fit Body Boot Camp, located at 1284 North Main St., on the Providence/Pawtucket line. You can reach Matt at (401) 453-3200; on Facebook at "Matt Espeut", and on Twitter at @MattEspeut. "We’re all in this life together – let’s make it a healthy one.

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Fit for Life: Promises. Make Em and Keep Em

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