Newport Manners & Etiquette: Mr. Trump’s Bad Manners

Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Didi Lorillard, GoLocalWorcester Manners + Etiquette Expert

Resistance to Mr. Trump's bad behavior is soaring out of control as we hear him speaking and living in the White House. Here is the question of the week to Didi Lorillard at NewportManners that echoes concerns of our readers.

Q. It is hard to resist not poking fun of Mr. Trump’s lack of manners, but his behavior is so terribly upsetting that others must be as appalled as I am! As American’s Number One Role Model, how do we stop him from taking a sledge hammer to etiquette? We see photos of the president pointing as though his hand is a pointing gun! Then he’s rubbing his eldest daughter’s pregnant belly in a formal photo, how tacky is that?

Being greeted by the Obamas, on his way into the White House after the inauguration, he leaves his wife in the car as though he’s forgotten who he came with! When Mrs. Trump (who had the gall to plagiarize one of Mrs. Obama’s speeches) is finally let out of the car, she is carrying a sloppily prepared gift for the Obamas. The Obamas politely covered for Mr. Trump’s rudeness by escorting Mrs. Trump into the White House. By the way, shouldn’t the Trumps have had the Obamas’ present wrapped in the Tiffany paper and not just handed her an unwrapped box? Shouldn’t Mr. Trump have escorted his wife into the White House?

And when Mr. Trump is seated with Mrs. Trump, he really shouldn’t put his back to his wife. Don’t you agree, Didi?

–Name Withheld

A. Mr. Trump’s ultimate exhibition of bad manners is his failure to share with the rest of America his tax returns. He is saying either that we don’t deserve to know about them or that he has something to hide.

Both are marks of disrespect for the people whom he governs.

Yes, dear reader, and to illustrate your complaint about the Trumps’ manners, here are some photos starting with Mr. Trump pretending that he has a gun. It’s the use of the index finger that is the supreme indicator of bad manners. When you are trying to make a point you should avoid looking as though you are aiming a gun or otherwise threatening your audience, be it a single individual or a packed room.

Here the faux pas is that the boxed gift is not elegantly enclosed in the dignified Tiffany wrapping paper, which is the honorable way to present a presidential gift.

Moreover, the protocol would have been that Mrs. Trump’s people should have let Mrs. Obama’s people know in advance that she was bringing a gift, in order for them to have a prepared reciprocal gift for the Trumps. As it appears, the Obamas were put slightly off-guard, but, of course, it was the Trumps who were humiliated.

Mr. Trump should have wiggled his chair back a bit in order to include Mrs. Trump in the conversation he was having with Mrs. Clinton, instead of leaving her out.

In this latest photo of the Trumps departing for Palm Beach this past weekend, Mr. Trump proceeds Mrs. Trump up the air-stairs into Air Force One, but shouldn’t Mr. Trump have let her climb up ahead of him so that he could be there to catch her in case one of Mrs. Trump’s high heels got caught and she stumbled? Shouldn't a president also be a gentleman?

~Didi Lorillard researches manners and etiquette at NewportManners. Please, send other observations of the Trumps’ bad manners, along with any photos if possible, and we will include them. However, please, no photos of the Trump children or grandchildren. Thank you!